A peek into your mind
by Easternspirit
Summary: Finally, after 2 years: new chapters! Plot: Ed is send to anger management class and is supposed to write in a diary. People think i'll help....slightly crossover with other anime, through the story it becomes edxroy.
1. Monday, april the 24th

I don't own FMA, wish i did ( i would be filthy rich and ed would be a little taller) :)

monday, april the 24th.

Anger management my ass……

Okay, so it's not a very good way to start a diary but WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE? Feelings? Riiighht and in 50 years I'll publish it and make a fortune….

This is sick…..

( **Ed: **_sigh _

(**Roy:** _snicker _)

(**Ed: **_points finger at roy _DON'T EVEN START!)

I guess SOME PEOPLE think it's strange to get a bit upset when you're forced to write in a diary just because some people think you have a problem controlling your anger…..

I don't have a problem, I just get a bit loud……

Yeah, so this is the reason why they made me do this in the first place. Guess Mustang didn't appreciate me calling him an old geezer, and that hole in the floor of his office didn't make up for it. ( too bad, he shouldn't have called me a MEGA ULTRA HYPER MIDGET THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO STEP ON HIM JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN!) anyway, I got pissed, but I guess you figured that much…..

( _glare _)

He's been doing nothing all day….if I were to keep a list of useful things Mustang does every day It would be a very short one.

ARRGHH! I don't want to use the word "short" cuz it brings back a very….embarrassing memory from yesterday. You see, it was Winry's birthday and her new boyfriend came as well. Nice guy, or so I thought, until he said: " _what's that kid doing here?"_ (&(#$&( HE'S ONE FUCKING YEAR YOUNGER THAT ME! So yeah, I freaked out a bit, and so what I knocked over Hawkeye into the huge birtdaycake in the process, earning me 3 shots near CERTAIN bodyparts I won't talk about, not even in this FUCKING DIARY!

( **Roy** _annoyed _: Fullmetal, if you keep squeezing that pen, you'll break it, and it wouldn't be the first this week…….

**Ed**: _curses under his breath _)

Dunno, maybe this thing could actually work somehow, as long as that jerk doesn't read it ( or Hughes, cuz he's like, mr. Gossip around here.And he's even worse ever since he gave up on Mustang ever getting a girlfriend….he's bugging me with it now)

Speaking of Hughes, it get more prank phone calls every week, I have a feeling he's behind all of this. If I find out who it is...well, let's just say that i'll make him understand the meaning of pain...in such situations, of course, i'm grateful for automail...

Come to think of it,Hughes attended the party yesterday as well. Now I understand why the guys from HQ looked so frightened when Hawkeye came in for her daily report. ( her hair looked still a bit sticky from the cake, I guess I shouldkeep adistanceof her the next few days...orstay at least out of shot)

I really shouldn't do anything stupid anymore around Hughes, he'll tell everyone in HQ….

Well, I think this would be enough for today…..

( **Roy**: "_busy" staring out of the window_" : quitting so soon Fullmetal? I thought you had enough to write about that party yesterday _smirk _

**Ed**: _fuming _I only regret not bringing you some cake…..

**Roy**: _surprised_ :

**Ed**: SO I COULD SHOVE IT UP YOU A!)

( sounds of various objects being thrown , some yelling...well everyone in HQ is farmiliar with this..)

(Hawkeye leaves her office)

( a few gunshots are heard)

(**Ed/Roy**: _sweatdrop _)

Anyway, I need to end this thing properly before I show Mustang the many ways my automail can be used…. _thinks_ ...AND NO I DON'T MEAN "THAT "

Genius Alchemist

Edward Elric

_Note: __I don't know, it doesn't take a genius to notice how much you write about Mustang…:) _

AL, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WRITING IN MY DIARY!


	2. Thuesday, april the 25th

Thuesday, april the 25th.

Dear whatever…….

Yeah, that sounds a lot better that the last one, I know, but I'm still pissed off. I guess I have to explain that cuz hey, that's what this diary is for, isn't it?

It's about this "anger management class" I'm attending….there are people there that either scare me or get on my nerves ( even though getting on my nerves is not so hard if you have even the slightest bit of Mustang's personality, well…as far as that guy even HAS a personality). This redhead for example. Really, one moment he has that incredibly silly smile and he's goofing around a bit, and the next he's flinging around with his sword like a maniac. He's also blabbering some nonsense about a "Kaoru-dono" who send him here. Must be his wife or something… I heard that because "Friends" stopped, he sliced the TV in half again, so she had it with him. Sounds like one fucked-up relationship………

**Ed**: _screames_: NO I DON'T WANT TO TAKE OUT THE &$&& TRASH!DO I LOOK LIKE A MAID TO YOU?…….

**Roy**: _smirk_: maybe this could help…….

**Ed**: _instant nosebleed_: PUT AWAY THAT DRESS YOU PERVERT!

**Roy**_: busy avoiding things being throwed to his head_

( **The other guys from HQ**:_HUGE sweatdrop_: why the hell does he bring an outfit like that to his work?)

When speaking about fucked up, Roy came to anger management class yesterday to "check on my improvements"….yeah right… he was just out there to get me, I swear! ( AND DON'T YOU DARE CALLING ME PARANOID, CUZ THAT WILL EARN ME MORE OF THOSE FUCKED UP CLASSES!)

Anyway, We had this meditation session ( wich totally sucked by the way) to "express our anger in words and not actions". Like I have a problem with that….I should keep a list of insults that makes the Colonel pissed, cuz I can't keep track of it. Especially about his age, that seems to be a very sensitive issue….then again, so is my height and he knows it. Damn that bastard…..that FRIGGIN'OLD bastard…

**Ed**: _smirk_

Oh yeah, about the class yesterday. I got to sit next to that redhead, he had that silly smile again, saying that he really needed to leave early because his wife would freak out if he came late for dinner again. Sounds like someone else needs some anger management here. I thought about signing Winry up as well, since she used about all of her mechanical tools to hit me in the head….Yeah that was yesterday, and okay she had the right to be mad at me because of the cake incident, but I thought that I was punished enough by Hawkeye ( and Roy making fun of me afterwards of course, asking me if he should order bullet proof underwear for me…..)

While I was thinking about all that, I notice the redhead brought his sword to class. I like ancient weapons, and I swear that I ONLY ASKED IF I COULD SEE IT! As soon is I asked it he got a strange red glow in his eyes and the next moment some of my hair locks are separated from me, and if it wasn't for my fighting skills I would have been sliced to tiny pieces in the next few moments. (AND NO THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT **I'M** TINY!) And yeah, in exactly that moment the damn Colonel walked in. It must have been funny sight, if you weren't the one being chased by an infuriated samurai with VERY good sword skills.( I should go out tomorrow to buy new clothes, remind me of that…..what the hell? IM TALKING TO A FUCKING DIARY!)

Well, I have to give the Colonel some credit, cuz after he stopped laughing he saved my ass….You know, putting on his glove, instant fire, burned redhead…..well I think there's more red to him than only his hair right now….

When I looked up from that Samurai maniac on the floor I saw Roy giving me an awkward look, one that I couldn't exactly put in place….Before I could ask anything, he extended his had to help me up from the floor ( when did I fell again?). The whole situation was just…strange. For one moment I thought he was seriously worried about me ( not that I care if he worries about me or something, mind you!), but in the next moment he said something that made everything feel normal again:

" you know, it would have been easy for him to cut your head off, if it wasn't so near to the ground…"

**Ed**_: sigh_……

**Roy**: _searching for something in his desk_

And of course, I freaked out again…..in front of the entire class and the instructor…..

And yeah, I got into detention class…….

I think I wrote down enough embarrassment for today, since I only have my military uniform left, I think I go out and buy some new stuff……

**Ed**: _finishing his writing…_

**Roy**: _standing in a corner with Fury and Havoc, giggling like schoolgirls….._

**Ed:** what the…..(_walks over_)……OY! What's that?

**Roy**: just a little reminder of yesterday's class……( _holding up photo's of ed being chased by the redhead samurai and of ed destroying half the class while freaking out)_

**Ed**: YOU TOOK PICTURES? YOU BASTARD! GIVE ME THAT!

**Roy**: (_holding pictures above his head_) I think you need to grow a bit more Fullmetal!

**Al**: (_enters office_) onii-san, you forgot your lu………….( _sees Roy with a picture above his head, and ed practically on him trying to grab it_)

**Ed/Roy**:…………………….

**Al**: sweatdrop….ah…I see….i'll uhm…leave this here than……have fun……

**Ed**,…T…T… DO I LOOK LIKE I'M HAVING FUN!

**Roy**: ooh, but I am ( _takes another look at a picture of ed, being half naked because of his shredded clothes, laying on the ground)_

**Ed**; YOU PERVERT, GIVE ME THOSE PICTURES!

( in the office next to Roy's)

**Hawkeye**: sigh………..i guess it's up to me again….. ( _grabs gun)_

( next following scenes are, of course, predictable)

I'll get that jerk one day, I'll make him pay for all of this. And there I was, thinking that he actually…..oh never mind. REVENGE WILL BE MINE!

Genius Alchemist

Member of the anti-pervert society if it existed

Edward Elric

Note: Awww isn't that sweet Nii-san? Roy saving you and all? ( by the way, hiding your diary in the kitchen isn't a very good idea since I'm the one doing all the cooking)

SO WHAT IF HE SAVED ME, HE ONLY DID THAT AFTER HE STOPPED LAUGHING!

….

AND YOU'RE STILL WRITING IN **MY** DIARY!


	3. Wednesday, april the 26th

Wednesday, april the 26th.

Dear sticky table

Sounds terrible, I know, but so is everything in this filthy bar. That waitress looks like she worked here since the end of the ice age ( that, or she doesn't know that women are supposed to shave their legs). But I don't have a choice, since it's raining outside….and I kind of forgot my coat. So I decided to update here, and even a sticky table is better than being distracted all the time by Roy and his perversions. They should lock him up or something, I swear, I thought he was seriously trying to make me wear that STUPID DRESS!. But hey, it's raining so we won't see mr. You-can-break-bricks-on-my-arrogance-Mustang here….right?

I took the day off to buy some new clothes. I don't have much left since the "samurai incident", and well, I didn't have time yesterday either because of detention class. I wasn't the only one there though. I sat next to a very muscular, but VERY scary guy. Really, that death glare of him can bore holes right through your skull, ….he kinda freaked me out.( and not only that **look**, but man! How does he get his **hair** like that! Talking about unnatural…) I wondered what he did to be send to detention class ( beside looking weird). You can see this one coming:…..i _asked_ him.

I'm WAY too curious for my own good sometimes.

BUT I SWEAR I ONLY ASKED!

I don't know WHAT kind of alchemy he used next but before I knew what I was doing I dodged some sort of lightbeam that exploded in the wall behind me. Snarling something like "_big bang_ _attack_", eyes like a bull spotting something red, ….hell, he looked BEYOND pissed, but he wasn't the only one anymore.

First I'm almost being sliced to pieces by a redheaded samurai with a "Kaoru-dono"complex, then that damn Mustang laughing at me while I'm being chased ( although he saved my ass, witch was kinda nice….….scrap that last one, IT WASN'T NICE THAT HE WAITED SO LONG!), and now I'm being attacked with some alien form of alchemy by a guy with the weirdest hairdo I've ever seen, and "talk to me and you'll die" written all over his face!

How much can one person handle a day?

So I screamed: DO I HAVE A SIGN THAT SAYS " KILL THE HYPERMIDGET" STUCK ON MY FOREHEAD!

Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him. I always seem to forget that it doesn't help to yell at certain persons. But I was angry right? How come that I get to be in the same class with at least 2 maniacs that want to kill me the moment I ask something innocent. ( although when I told Al the story he gave me a look like : suuuuurre nii-san…in short: he didn't believe me. Maybe it's the way I ask things….that gets on people's nerves. But WHY not on those of Mustang! THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD ON WHO'S NERVES I WANT TO GET!)

Anyway, It seemed that this guy had an issue with his height as well, cuz he suddenly stopped throwing those stupid lightbeams at me. ( witch was a bit of a shame actually, I REALY want to know how he did that, maybe I can use it to have revenge on Roy). And maybe he stopped because the instructor came to see WHO made those holes in the wall. (well, that was kinda obvious since his hand was still glowing with some sort of lightball and I was in stand-by mode to dodge them)

He made up a quick excuse, mumbling something about "dodge-ball" ( never heard of, but I like to learn it if it's a sport that involves such cool alchemy!)

So we discussed our height-issues……

We still had one hour to go before detention class was over, so there was plenty to talk about. I never met anyone before that had a height-issue as well ( NOT THAT I DO, MUSTANG JUST THINKS THAT I HAVE ONE!). Telling me that the person he hates the most Is WAY taller than him. (and is, like, a slave in his own house because of his wife. He got send to the other anger management class, just because he lost his temper over his wife taking away his food…..)

The weird-hairdo guy apparently lives with some kind of screw as well. ( like the hot headed samurai and that food-maniac…wait...do I see a pattern here? Man + screw : anger management? Maybe I should go write a book on "_the alchemy of FUCKED UP RELATIONSHIPS!"._ I can include mustang, cuz he's like, an understatement of fucked up…(thinks)…...BUT I DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, MIND YOU!)

well, that screw send him here after he blew up the living room because "Happy days" wouldn't be broadcasted anymore. I watch that show as well, but I never knew that they would stop. So it told him. He gave me this evil I'm-gonna-take-over-the-world look, telling me something about a "litte trip to the studio" to "convince" the directors of the fact that he would get "slightly annoyed" if they would stop with "happy days".

From the evil look in his eyes, I think the people at the tv station won't have a happy day at all.

At last detention class was over. So I grabbed what was left of my coat ( the guy already guessed that I sat next to the redhead in class today when he saw my shirt…..or what's left of it) Yeah, we have some stuff in common an I think I made a new friend ( although unlike me, that guy is REALY supposed to be here, he just blew up the soda-machine because it was out of coke…..i would never do such a thing... # cough #)

But hey, that was yesterday, I should be writing about today right? (not that I want to or something, but I don't have anything else to do beside getting more annoyed by how sticky this table is or watching the nose hair of the waitress grow….ugh)

I went to a regular clothing shop around the corner of the bar were I'm writing now, you know, a kind of store that sells things that are NOT FOR OLD BASTARDS!….( and of course I'm referring to mr Lazyness-extraordinaire) : denim, jeans, shirts with weird texts written on them,….you get the point. I found this really cool shirt with: " _death, destruction, disaster….looks like I'm done here_" written on it. ( I also found one that would be perfect for roy, because it said " _most likely to steal your girlfriend_" ….then again, it was a red one and he looks better in Blue….( _slaps head_) ……NO HE DOESN'T LOOK GOOD AT ALL!….)

Okay, back to the story: I looked for some jeans next, I saw a good pair too but couldn't find my size. Then this girl who worked there suddenly appeared behind me, saying

" I think you have more chance of finding your size in the children departement…….."

Do I REALLY have to say what happened next?…………..

Not only did I freak out ( witch is kinda predictable) but BECAUSE I freaked out, I tripped over some jeans thati droppedon the flour moments before, fell backwards and grabbed the nearest thing I could find…..

Witch happened to be the curtain of the…..well…that small space were the women fit their clothes…you get the picture…and I yanked it off in the process…….

You image the situation right? Me yanking down that curtain, realizing too late that a woman is probably standing naked behind it…. Now…image a very, VERY infuriated blond, armed women that knows how to shoot standing half-naked (thank God) behind were the curtain once was….

Needless to say that I was DOOMED. I ran like a maniac out of that store, forgetting the shirt that I bought in the process. While running, some bullets missed with merely an inch. I considered at that moment taking up on Mustangs advice: buying bullet-proof underwear….

**Ed:** sigh…. ( _rubbing head_)

And then it started raining. So as soon as I ran around the corner, I went to this place. I wonder if she's still mad at me ( cuz I really liked that shirt, but I only go back there when hell freezes over)

**Ed**: (_shivers)_

It almost feels like it's freezing here. Maybe I should ask the waitress to turn up the heat a bit. But in her case that will probably mean that she has to go out in this rain to search for firewood or something. I swear, she looks like she just came out of a Jurassic Park movie, dressed like a cave women. ( only not with the white skirt and blouse….and the name-tag that says "Sam")

**Roy:** ( _puts down a mug with steaming, hot coffee_) drink up, you'll get warmer….

**Ed**: ( _nearly jumps out of his seat with suprise_): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!

**Roy**: ( _takes a seat across from Ed, holding a mug himself_): waiting till it stops raining, as do you I suppose. ( _looks at diary_)…writing again? So far I haven't noticed any improvement, maybe you should take more classes…( _smirks_)

**Ed**: ( _sips coffee_) no thanks, today I'm too tired to get angry over such a remark……

( next few moments, they drink their coffee in silence. The only thing that could be heard was the falling of the rain , the wind making eerie sounds outside and the waitress chewing a piece of gum, now and then blowing a bubble with it).

**Roy**: oh right, I almost forgot ( _tosses bag to ed_)

**Ed**: ( _looks inside_):….hey…this is from that store!

**Roy**: let's just say that when Riza told me the story, she realized that when you think about it, it was actually pretty funny. ( _semi-serious face_) although I'm VERY jealous that it wasn't ME who got to see her half-naked. ( _sigh_)

**Ed**: pervert……

**Roy:** shorty….

**Ed**: ( _veinpop_) old geezer…..

**Roy:** ( _eyetwich_) metalhead…..

( waitress raises an eyebrow at the odd conversation)

**Ed**: ( _sigh)_ … were is my wallet? I pay my own coffee you know….( _looks in his bag and spots something odd_)…..oy….this is THAT shirt….

**Roy**: What?

**Ed**: (_sweatdrop_) I didn't mean to buy this……( Note: this is the shirt with the "most likely to steal your girlfriend" text)

**Roy**: ( _finishes his coffee_) buy what?

-------------( _ed's home)-------------------------------_

Okay, so I just found out that I bought the wrong shirt. Must have been a mistake made by that stupid girl. And it doesn't mean anything, I SWEAR, but I decided that Roy should have it. In the end I couldn't find my wallet, witch I must have left in the store, and well...Roy paid me coffee and all….. And before I could even explain why I gave him a shirt, I picked up my diary and ran outside….i just ran… I don't know why I did that, I didn't even thank him for the coffee, I didn't explain were I was going or anything…..

I really don't understand myself sometimes….

Well, at least I was home early so I could watch " happy days' . it was a double episode,…come to think of it…. they never did that before. But then again, that weird-hairdo guy said that he would pay those guys at the tv station a little visit today….i guess he was very convincing……

All right! I had it for today!. Let's hope that I survive HQ tomorrow, because I heard from Al that Hughes overheard Roy and Riza talking about the little curtain-incident….

You'll see that tomorrow, everyone in HQ will think that I'm some kind of pervert that peeks int….STOP THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT, I'M NOT MUSTANG, DAMN IT!

Really, everything about that guy is either perverted or lazy, and especially his smile and eyes, no matter what they say I'm still not convinced that that guy is **not** on marihuana ( maybe he hides it in his desk or something)

I should give him a little " desk inspection" tomorrow, I wonder what I'll find….maybe something to pay him back…or blackmail him…

**Ed**: ( _VERY evil smirk_)

Genius Alchemist

HUGE fan of man-only clothing stores and women who shave their legs

(_and head of the pokemon-lovers anonymous_)

Edward Elric

T..T.. WHO WROTE THAT LAST ONE? AAAAAAALL! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!

_Note: Aren't you supposed to write secrets in your diary then? I mean, you also write a lot about your crush on Roy………._

**I **AM SUPPOSED TO WRITE DOWN **MY **SECRETS, NOT YOU!……AND WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HAVING A CRUSH ON THAT DAMN ROY!

_Note: Awww….it was so cute when you gave him the shirt and how you write about his eyes and his smile…you should become a novelist nii-san, I'm serious…._

AND STOP WRITING IN **MY** DIARY, GET YOUR OWN ONE!


	4. Thursday, april the 27th

_Note from Easternspirit:_

_WHOO! I like the reviews. This is the first time I write a fic myself instead of reading them. I figured I should give it a try, and so far I had enough inspiration every day to update. But there are days that I have to work and go to college, so I won't be able to write then ( but put in a good explanation in the story :) ) _

_Thanks for all the reviews so far, and I hope I can keep this fic up ( at least until I worked Ed into Roy's bed or something) _

_Suggestions for in the story, questions or complaints, I'd like to hear them……so put in a review if you want._

Dear Al

YES I'M ADRESSING IT TO AL CUZ HE ALWAYS READ MY DIARY! It doesn't seem to matter WHERE I hide it, Al always finds it. Last time it was inside my pillow, WHY does he even look there?

Well, save that matter for another time. A lot happened to day as well so maybe I should get some more coffee to write down more about my life that can be described in one word: _humiliation._ I mean, they ( and I'm mostly revering to Mr. Make-the-shorty-do-all-the-paperwork-cuz-I'm-too-lazy Mustang) make comments about my height EVERY FUCKING DAY ( even though I'm almost 18 now and Mustang is only a few inches taller than me), when I do something stupid or embarrassing, Hughes knows it and tells everyone in HQ, and on top of that, Al Is commenting on my private writings every day………….

Don't those people have a life?

Okay, so the day started with me putting on my military uniform, because I had to work early hours today. Washing my face, brushing my teeth…the usual. But when I finished brushing my hair and tried to tie it in a ponytail, I snapped the hair tie……the LAST ONE! I still remember my eyes turning huge when I looked in the mirror…It felt like the ground disappeared under my feet, because I KNEW what this meant:…no shops open at this hour, nothing left to tie my hair with.…they would call me MISS EDWARD today…..

It must have been a strange sight for Al, because when he appeared in the hallway, he found me banging my head against the bathroom door over and over again. But when he saw the broken hair tie he figured out what was bothering me I guess, because he said "don't worry nii-san, Roy will like it!"…………………

EVEN my own little brother can royally piss me off sometimes……….ROY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, DAMN IT ALL!

So I went out with my hair loose ( when did it grow that long? I should go seek a barber shop or something after work), and I didn't even had to wait before I reached HQ, because just around the corner, Hughes suddenly drove by in his car, making KISSY FACES AT ME! DAMN YOU, YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN YOU PERVERT!

Well, that's what you'll get from hanging around with Mustang too much I guess…instant brain disorder…..that guy has a bad influence on everybody in HQ ( except for Riza, but she's the only one there that REALY needs to relax a bit…..when was the last time she took vacation?)

Finally, I reached HQ, readying myself for a VERY bad day to come. Sheska who was working at the desk this morning said :"_goodmorning Hawk…ehm.. Edo-kun!"…_I guess that in the last moment she realized that Riza is a bit taller than me. ( BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME SHORT, SHE'S A GIANT, I SWEAR!) Anyway, one death glare was enough to make her think twice before she greets a blond here again without knowing for sure who it is…..

First, clean up my desk. Today is desk inspection, as I mentioned yesterday, but now it was time for Roy as well. You see, every rank below the Colonel gets desk inspection on Thursday and, and the rest on Friday…..but _maybe_ if kind of forgot that it's not Friday today and _maybe_ I decided to give him a little desk inspection myself.

Oh Yeah, here we go….

**Ed**: (_rummaging through Roy's desk, while writing everything down in his diary)_

22 reports on sexual harassment complaints in the military, all from women, all about Roy(….not signed of course), a holiday brochure for some beach resort, a few pencils with teethmarks on them ( bad habit no. 12397), a few cherry flavored condoms ( I didn't even dare touch those), a book on "ho_w to make other people work for you_" ( I should read it, seeing the amount of paperwork he makes me do every week. Maybe I can reverse the process), a picture of Roy, Riza, Hughes and me (taken at some military party. I made a V behind Roy's head, wish I had a copy of it) and…….a gameboy? I never would have guessed that Roy likes games, and it's _Hunters'moon_ as well, one of my favorites. I was amazed to say the least, this was a side of Roy I might actually like…..( as far as there is anything to like about that guy)

Although he probably sucks at it, I mean, I've never seen him play or anything….Al and I play those things a lot at home. He's better than me but I don't care to admit that. He just has more patience with certain things…..( and has way too much time to turn the house upside down to find my diary…is have to look for a new place to hide it AGAIN.)

Well, I'm disappointed…I hoped to find something useful to blackmail him or anything. The other drawers contained only military stuff, nothing personal from Roy really….expect for a small pocket photo book, with a lot of picture form the group of men serving under Roy, you know: Hawkeye, Hughes, Havoc, Fury, Brenda…and me of course. Although I didn't realize that my picture was taken THAT many times….me I my military uniform at some random party, me playing with Elizia (must be from Hughes), me laughing at Roy cuz he had to use his gloves for the barbeque to work, me at Winry's party BEFORE I freaked out, me and Al relaxing on the beach, me…. You get the picture… a lot of photo's I didn't even knew existed. I should ask him about that someday.

After I put everything back were I found it, I hurried to my own desk because I heard footsteps down the hallway coming this way. I pretended to be doing some important writing when Riza entered the office with Roy's ( that means MY) daily pile of files to sort and to sign. She just put it down at Roy's desk, ignoring the fact that he was late AGAIN, turned around and went to leave. I swear you could cut the air between us with a knife…..that women is SCARY. ( especially since she almost hurt PRECIOUS parts of my body) .Suddenly she turned to me and I readied myself to take cover under my desk. She only did one thing though: she reached in her pocket and pulled out: a dog groomer……an evil grin followed….She said something about "next time" and "something stupid"…….

I actually prefer the gun, really.. ( not so much for my hair….ok so I LIKE my hair, but bullets , at least, I can dodge. A pair of bullet-proof underwear is now laying in my drawers at home by the way. I suspect Al of buying it, but I'm not completely sure…)

I was glad to be out at 12.00. I sorted and signed half the files on Roy's desk, beside doing my own work. He owns me bigtime. I was kinda hungry so I walked down the street and grabbed a snack and some coffee at the nearest bar ( no, not the one from yesterday, I bet they serve mammoth-steak and a melted snowshake as "today's special"…..afterthat hairy waitresswent out hunting with a spear to kill the mammoth of course). Finishing my meal, I still had half an hour to go before the next )()#()(#)(#&&ANGER MANAGEMENT class would start……God, even the name itself makes me feel, as the hairdo-weirdo would put it, "_slightly annoyed"._

I sort of snapped out of my thoughts of impending doom when I saw a familiar…t-shirt behind some gaming machine, in _THE GALAXY_, a gaming hall. Yup, it was him. I sneaked up behind him to take a look at the screen. 1380 points? Not bad at all.(although I'd rather lose my other arm that ever say that out aloud) .So I used my own primitive, but effective way of greeting the slack-off award winner of the day ( hell, EVERY day): I pressed the "delete" button of his machine.

GOD he looked pissed. Good….. I hoped he would freak out like I always do and get send to Anger management class like I was…..Yeah, i'd like to see him running for his life, being chased by the redheaded sword maniac….

**Roy**: ( _icy tone_) Fullmetal, you just ruined an entire morning of work……

**Ed:** ( _sarcastic_) really? You can hardly call that work! I could have easily reached that level in HALF the amount of time!

**Roy**: ( _slams coin into the machine_) : I'd like to see you try! Dual game, first one to get 100 points wins!

I'm not the kind of person to leave such a challenge unanswered. So we both stood next to each other, each the same set of buttons annoyingly close to the other, and we went to stand-by mode to…..play for our lives.

Roy was good the first rounds, but I made a comeback. I think that when it comes to the long distance, I have more concentration that he does to keep up the speed. ( that's what you'll get with OLD PEOPLE! I resisted the urge to say that to him though….hey, is this diary thing HELPING?). I needed all my concentration for the last few seconds in witch I could gain my 100 points and beat Mustang.

The last points….victory was within reach.. I was at 98, mustang at 95. Just a few more to decide who would win. Suddenly I saw a purple box on the track, knowing it contained 5 points if you hit it. Without a second thought, I put all my effort in hitting that box. I think mustang must have seen it too, since he aimed for it as well. I was so close…..he was right behind me but I was so damn close. And then, It happened……

Slightly….just slightly….his finger moved to the "accelerator button" that is next to mine…I was pressing it too….and we touched. It was brief and I could barely feel it, but I was so shocked at the sudden contact of flesh to flesh( and the huge wave of…of..WHATEVER. speeding right through my stomach), that I lost control. In those 5 seconds that it happened, Roy touched me, passed me and hit the box…..gaining the 5 points and ultimately winning the game. I couldn't even get mad at him for it. I was so amazed at what just happened to me, and I wondered if I was becoming sick or something. Did he know it? Did he see my reaction to the contact? I actually didn't dare to look up, look up into that "victory-once-again" face….he would probably make a "shorty" comment as well…..

So I did the same as I did yesterday: I grabbed my stuff, said something about going to class to him ( why did my voice sound so strange?) and just ran off again………..

It wasn't an excuse, really……I was late. Not that the instructor minded or something, he was too busy trying to stop the sword maniac from making sushi of the girl with the pink hair ( who tried to hit the samurai on his head with her guitar, so hey, she asked for it) The weird hairdo-guy was sitting on the ground, refusing to sit in one of the "happy chairs". I don't blame him. Due to this class, I bear a grudge against ANYTHING that has a smiley on it. ( I should tell Havoc, then he'll understand why I threw his coffee mug out of the window last week...….damn smileys).

My instructor is a complete fruitcake by the way. That guy must have graduated in child psychology or something, always trying to solve things with "talking" and psychological nonsense, burning incense and drinking cherryblossom thee every time. He makes us do stupid meditation sessions ( well, at least it gives me an opportunity to get some more sleep) and his hair is even longer than mine ( and I'm mostly talking about the hair under his armpits…..yuck!) FLOWER POWER MY ASS!

Anyway, the Redhead calmed down after he got one of those incense sticks stuck in his nose ( now he has the same lazy-marihuana-look Roy has). So before class ended we sat in a circle, and everybody had to tell what they did today. Redhead wasn't really intelligible sounding at the moment, The Hairdo-weirdo was secretly painting beards and eye patches on all the smiley of the happy-chairs and the pink-haired girl just raced off on her yellow scooter ( leaving a huge gap in the wall near the gap she made when she came in), so I had to start……..

"I woke up this morning and my hair tie broke……"

Needless to say that I had a very long hour to go……

I've been writing all this stuff in Central Park by the way.. I came here after ANGER MANAGEMENT ( _mutter, mutter_) was finally over. Now that it's over, I still think about what happened in the gaming hall. Maybe Roy thinks that I let him win on purpose or something

….nah, he knows I would never do such a thing.

**Roy:** yup, I know you better than that MISS Edward…….

**Ed:** ( _heart attack_) HOW LONG WERE YOU STANDING THERE!

**Roy:** ( _snicker_) hey you're supposed to be a state alchemist, always expecting the unexpected…..

**Ed**: (_innocent):_ like a desk inspection?

**Roy:** ………………..what do you mean?

**Ed:** never mind…… (_ tosses a rock into the nearby pond)_

**Roy**: ( _joins ed, sitting in the grass_)…..

( they sit like that for a while, neither of them having to say a word to the other, silently agreeing that the event in the gaming hall doesn't need further discussion)

**Roy**:……..( _picks something up_)……..hey Ed

**Ed:** ( _surprised because he's not called MISS Edward or Fullmetal)…_yes?

**Roy**: here ( _hands ed a 4-leaved cloverleaf_)

**Ed:** I never thought you were a superstitious person Mustang?

**Roy:** I am not! I just thought…..maybe now you have this…you have more luck this time.. ( _pointing to the street with the gaming hall)_

**Ed**:….ah….i get it….it a challenge then!

So we ran like a couple of 12 year old kids to the gaming hall, reaching the same machine , completely exchausted, and playing the same 100-point-victory game again. And guess who won? YES! ME! It was great! Almost the same situation as before, but this time I used Roy's own technique against him! Just when he was about to win I "_accidentally_" brushed his leg with mine. He almost looked as if he froze, I swear! WHOO HOO , WHO'S THE BEST?

After we finished, ( that is,me finishin with GLOATING)Roy suddenly gave me a bag. Saying it was the prize I earned. I looked inside and couldn't believe what I saw…..it was the T-shirt I really wanted to buy!. How did he know that! ( maybe he IS on marihuana and used his dozed-off mood to look into my skull...) I stood there in amazement, staring at Roy like he was E.T or something. He only gave me that lazy smile of his. And in that moment I realized something:

Roy doesn't look as bad in that red T-shirt as I thought………

Back at home, Al was waiting for me. He also bought new hair ties because he's afraid that next time I will break either my head or the door. We watched "happy day's " as usual. They had a triple episode this time. Now I'm completely convinced that the hairdo-weirdo is my best friend. Hurray for _actions speak louder than words_. HURRAY FOR HAPPY DAYS!

Yeah so what I'm in a good mood now? I BEATED THE MUSTANGIZER! This day should becomea national holiday or something..

Anyway, I wrote enough for now. At least I have a T-shirt to wear tomorrow on my free day off.

Genius alchemist

MASTER OF THE GALAXY!

(_ and sooooo totally gay)_

Edward Elric

AL! I SHOULD TEACH YOU A NEW SPORT , IT'S CALLED TOILET-DIVING! ( and I'll be EAGER to help you)

_Note: but nii-san, you had a 2 dates with Roy and now he gave you a present…you didn't even tell me that this was already beyond a crush…I feel hurt that you just left me out….._

DO I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THAT KNOWING THAT YOU WILL FIND MY DIARY BEHIND THE TOILET AND READ IT ANYWAY?…..wait a second, did I just admit to something I don't want to?

_Note: yes you did…..and I copied this page just in case….._

ARRRHHGGHH! I'M BEING BLACKMAILED BY MY OWN BROTHER!.


	5. Note from easternspirit

_Note From Easternspirit._

_Hey people, I appreciate the reviews. However, I have to work late this day and tomorrow and have a lot of very boring and long classes, so you'll have to wait till saturday for an update. Ed will tell us what he did on his 2 days off ( and of course we will laugh about it.) _

_Yes, the pink haired girl is Haruko from Furi Kuri, the Weird-hair dude is Vegeta from DBZ and the redhead samurai is of course Kenhin from Ronin kenshin. More hotheads are waiting for an introduction!_

_I will continue this story until Roy and Ed are a couple. ( maybe I should call this fic: how to get Roy in 10 days or something)  ._

_Anyway, thanx for the reviews, _

_Ed: WHY are you thanking them! I'M NOT CUTE DAMNIT!_

_Roy: you will be if you put this on_

_Ed: FOR THE LAST TIME MUSTANG! PUT AWAY THAT #$&DRESS , YOU PERVERT!_

_Easternspirit: sight …..i think this will maybe take a bit longer that 10 days…….anyway, see you next saturday ( don't know what day tha_t _is in the states, since I live in Holland)_


	6. Friday and Saturday: 28th, and 29th

_Note from Easternspirit:_

_AAAHHHH GOMEN NASAI! i tried the entire saturday to log in, but it didn;t work! maybe a site error or something, but anyway, i made you people wait...so here is the update for friday and saturday:_

_and please forgive my bad grammar and stuff, i'm dutch so i'm not expected to write stuff like this in English anyway..._

_ejoy!_

Friday, april the 28th.

Why?……………………….

WHY AM I STUCK IN AN AMUSEMENT PARK ON MY DAY OFF? I'll tell you why: that brother of mine blackmailed me! Saying that "certain" persons would get a copy of my diary if I didn't go with him. I can only imagine who he means by "certain" persons………( the local newspaper, Hughes to give him more stuff to gossip about……and of course Roy)

I don't even understand why people go here ( when not being blackmailed, forced or sentenced that is). I hate amusement parks….they seem to hate me as well. ( I just tripped over one of those guys in a huge costume….that was actually pretty funny…..well until he said to Mustang to KEEP HIS BRAT WITH HIM!I swear, If I was that redhead sword maniac, I would have sliced him to tiny pieces!.) I'M NOT **HIS!** ( although SOMEONE thinks I am…..YES AL! I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS!)

Yeah, Roy came too. So did Riza and Hughes…..i believe I'm being set up or something, but don't know what to expect. Maybe my instructor will pop out of nowhere here and makes me paint smileys on EVERY FUCKING PINK BENCH IN THIS o((#$& PARK!. I certainly hope that this hasn't anything to do with anger management class or something. Since I can't trust Al anymore, I'll have to stay alert. ( not only for the fruitcake-attack that might come, but also not to do something stupid around Riza. She brought that dog groomer, and I don't think I want to be thrown down on the ground for my head to be shaved in a public place…..no thanks)

I was bored…..and annoyed, and not only by this Amusement park. Hughes brought a camera along and was filming me the whole time. I guess that guy seriously believed that I didn't notice.(he was hanging all over me with that stupid thing!) After some time, I just had it, grabbed the damn camera and threw it in the lake with those annoying Swan boats. Instead of giving up, he set his daughter up to videotape me, saying that "filming ed-oniisan would be "fun"". I'll show YOU fun one day Hughes! Do you seriously think I wouldn't to anything because a little girl is holding the camera now? ( I did resist the urge to throw her's in the lake too, but….i'm not THAT mean…)

Lucky me, just when I had enough ,one of those park employees came by, dressed up as Cinderella or something…..needless to say that I completely lost Elizia's attention ( not that I mind). I used the opportunity to sneak away from the group. It took some time for the to notice. Yeah, I heard them calling for me while I hid behind the bushes. Let them search, I came to this park as promised, nobody said anything about having to go on those damn rides. I yawned and stretched my legs, laying in the grass, while the others must have been either searching for me, or unlike me, enjoying themselves…..

I can't even remember the last time I was so bored…..well maybe that cosplay-party from last year in the military……don't know WHO came up with that idea, but there were only a few ones that actually came in a costume. But the party itself was boring as hell ( although the memory of Major Armstrong and Fury dressed up like Jessy and James is something no therapy will ever be able to erase…..i hope I don't need to point out WHO of them was wearing the mini-skirt…..I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!).

Talking about cosplay….i still had anger management this morning. We had a new "victim" in our group. Must be a cosplay fanatic, cuz he was wearing these strange white ears….i only looked at them and he growled like a dog ready to bite. Lucky me for having an automail arm….( I DID feel like petting him somehow….he's GOOD at that dog-act). According the fruitcake that guy's here for his aggressive behavior towards…well…..almost everything that moves. Personally, I think he's that aggressive due to all the red he's wearing ( I would freak out if I had to wear that outfit….then again, I freak out for more reasons that only that……). We were still with 3 people (excluding the fruitcake, he isn't human if you ask me)..The redhead wasn't here, I heard from The Hairdo-weirdo that he had to undergo surgery to get 12 incense sticks removed out of his nose ( It was only one yesterday, wasn't it?…talking about addiction). The Pink haired girl was doing something suspicious to her guitar, the hairdo-weirdo was watching "happy day's" on his cell phone, the fruitcake was busy making lotus-thea and preparing our shakra-massage-meditation, and the Dog-freak was….well…..scratching himself behind his ears with his foot…..

Yup, a normal day at anger management class…….

Hmm….laying here in the grass isn't so bad at all…..although they said there would be rain in the afternoon, it's sunny at the moment. Might as well go home with a tan. Mustang could use a tan as well. I always think that when I see his pale skin, It makes me wonder just how much he stays inside. Would it really hurt to be out a bit more, getting in the sun?

**Roy**: I hope not, because I forgot my sun block

**Ed:** ( _jumps_) WILL YOU STOP SNEAKING UP ON M….( _sees Roy's face)_

**Roy:** (_serious_)….believe me Edward, I didn't want to come here in the first place.

**Ed**: Me neither, I was set up by my brother to come here…..

**Roy**: (_surprised)….._i think I should give Al more credit………never expected him to be this sneaky

**Ed**: ( _eyetwitch_) WHAT is that supposed to mean?….

**Roy**: nothing…..I was sep up as well you know………by Riza

**Ed**: and her dog groomer?

**Roy**: how did y…..(_thinks_)…..never mind that.

So we sat there, just like the days before in the café and in the park. For some time, all we needed was each others company. I didn't mind being there with him now, he makes better compay than Hughes and his stash of camera's in his backpack…..( although Mustang is still so perverted, so..totally annoying..so….so..so Goddamn wonderful sometimes)

After a while, Roy stood up.

**Roy**: Hey ed, ever tried a roller coaster before? There must be a pretty good one around here…..

**Ed**: I don't particularly like those…..

**Roy:** (_semi-serious)_ weeeelll There seems to be a minimal height for some of them, so there is a possibility that you're not even allowed to ride it……..

**Ed**: ( _anger_) THAT IS ONLY FOR CHILDEN BENEATH 1.2 METER, YOU STUPID!

**Roy**: my point exactly….i'm afraid you'll have to skip this one…( _walks towards roller coaster)_

**Ed**: GET BACK HERE YOU JERK!

So he used his own way of convincing me to take the ride. Okay…this is something not even Al knows about me ( but he will as soon as he finds this under the couch)…I think roller coasters are a bit….scary. I don't like the feeling of not being in control when I'm in one. Your life completely depends on the lazy, underpaid employees of the park that are most of the time busy eating hamburgers or flirting with the girls standing in line for the ride…..and to me, that is not a save feeling.

But I would be damned if I didn't follow mustang into the Python. Luckily, we didn't have to wait that long ( cuz about everything with breasts was flirting with Roy and somehow, that was really getting on my nerves). I just stood there watching the cart race on the track, people screaming like they were about to be killed. The feeling of impending doom before the ride is almost as bad as the ride itself to me. Especially then: there was no way back.

It was our turn. Third car, if I remember correctly. We got to sit next to each other, but WHY were those boxes so small? I was practically sitting on his lap!. Needless to say that THIS time, more that just our fingers touched. And the same strange, intense feeling I had in the gaming hall returned, racing through my body , at least a 100 times as intense as yesterday. Before I knew it, I did something I hardly ever did before……

I blushed…..

I felt like a high school girl being whistled to by her secret crush or something. I turned my face away from Roy so he wouldn't see it. I could feel his gaze locked upon me, perhaps trying to see what caused me to be so out of character: I was silent the whole ride, while other people were screaming with either fear of enthusiasm….something I would have done, and he must have expected me to do so. My body felt feverish and tingly, and I couldn't even have screamed if I wanted to, because when I dared looking back to Roy again, I had this HUGE lump in my throat. Perhaps he translated my awkward behavior and silence as fear, because he just grabbed my arm gently and I heard him vaguely saying something about "the ride being over in just a few seconds".

Due to this experience, I'll never fear roller coasters again. It just felt save having Roy there.( even though that sounds stupid, and would normally never make a difference). We sat on a bench for a while after the ride, and I bought he 2 of us cotton candy. I like cotton candy a lot. We ate it in silence….until I couldn't stand it anymore…

**Ed:…** I wasn't scared you know……I'm just….not feeling very well…..

**Roy**: You could have told me before that roller coaster have this effect on you…..

No Roy….i wish I could blame the roller coaster for this. But unfortunately I can't: this is all your fault. What should I do? I feel strange things and can't explain them, and Roy must think I'm some kind of lozer that can't stand a roller coaster……and then tell everyone in HQ of course….

As if he read my mind, Roy continued:

**Roy:** I won't think less of you…..i know a lot of tough guys in the military that can't stand them as well….Riza can't either….

Do I want to know how he knows that?

He snapped me out of my thoughts though. Roy suddenly grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away from the bench. I had no clue were we were going, but it wasn't long before I found out: it was a shooting contest with water pistols. You know, those when you have to work a ball up to the top of the track with the water beam. Anyway, he gave me the same look he gave me in the gaming hall and I knew that he just wanted to restore a bit of normality between us. And of course, I accepted the challenge…..although Roy won the first round

**Roy**: HA! Eat that metalhead!

Oh yeah, he was back to being the Mustangizer, but I could see that he didn't mean what he said,….same goes often for me as well….except for this:

**Ed**: ( _grabs pistol_) I'll give you what YOU deserve! ( _points it at Roy)_

**Roy**: ( _points his at Ed as well_) If you dare t.

Well, he didn't quite finish that line, cuz in the next instant I completely soaked him, starting with that arrogant face. And he, of course, paid me back with a cold shower as well. We were laughing and acting like school kids ( at least, that is what most of the bystanders must have thought). Just at that moment, Al, Riza and Hughes walked around the corner, eating some ice-cream ( Al dropped his without noticing it when he saw us by the way). Out of the corner of my Eye I could see Riza and Al exchanging a very strange look ( and Hughes covering Elicia's eyes, while filming us with one of those fucking camera's)

When we finished the game ( and laughing and "insulting" each other) we walked up to them. Al said we should go change, wear something dry. You can't sit in a restaurant soaked to the bone, now can you? He brought me the shirt I got from Roy ( and Riza brought Roy's shirt as well…..this was all too much of a coincidence if you ask me). We went to a nearby toilet to change…I tried drying my hair a bit with toilet paper, but it didn't really help.

**Roy**: you can also let It loose, It'll dry faster. It looks good like that as well….

Did he just said that my hair looks good?

**Ed**: but it's a pain that way……

**Roy**: Then let me help you

And before I knew it, roy grabbed his own dry t-shirt and started drying my hair with it. At first I was way too surprised to react, but then I turned around, looking him straight in the face

**Ed**: what are you doing, you're supposed to be wearing that!

**Roy**: don't worry, it'll dry. The t-shirt still looks good, even if it is a bit wet…..

I completely agreed with that, but it only looked good on him…..(WHAT?)

He finished drying my hair, and let his hand slide through it a bit, getting out some knots…

**Roy:** come to think of it, you look good in that t-shirt Ed.

I could see that he didn't mean to say that out aloud, but he did. That is what he thought. I can't exactly explain why, but I became incredibly scared at that moment. The whole situation was just too awkward for me. Him being all nice and complementing me and stuff….And yeah you can see this coming: I ran. I ran outside, into the rain ( when did that start?), I ran to the exit, I ran past Al who yelled after me where I was going….i didn't knew at that time……….i just knew that things between Roy and me drastically changed that day…for the good or the bad, there was no going back…..

So I walked around abit, comletely confused. I didn't know what to feel or think anymore. I mean, when I met Roy I was convinced that there wasn't a guy on this planet that was more of a perverted, lazy, arrogant bastard than him. Through my search for the philosophers stone, we just tolerated each other, then almost becoming friends. But when I came back, it felt like I met Roy for the first time…..although the behavior towards each other stayed the same. I guess that made it a bit difficult to see how much actually changes between the two of us…..at least, on my account.

Ever since I started working in the military again I felt different towards Roy. In the old days, even the slightest comment about my height would have made me truly angry, but today I realized that he's just…how should I put it…..trying to get a reaction out of me or something….maybe it's just his way of getting my attention….

**Ed**: (sneezes)

Okay, so now I'm at the point in the story that explains my current situation: today is Saturday, and I couldn't finish Friday because, when I came home I went to bed immediately:

I'm sick……

Walking around on the streets in the rain, while being soaked already, wasn't the smartest of ideas. Well, it's a good excuse for staying away from Roy for a while, at least till I figured out WHAT exactly happened in the amusement park.

Although being in bed the entire day didn't give me much to write about. I skipped class because of my illness. The hairdo-weirdo must have heard that I was sick or something, cuz suddenly there was a 24 hour "happy days" marathon on the tv. I should thank him when I get back…..The pink haired girl send me her guitar, with a note that I should hit myself on the head with it. I didn't even dare touching that thing, I believe it's evil. Oh yeah, the redhead send me some incense sticks ( witch I also didn't touch, since he proved that you can get addicted to them).

Roy visited today, don't know why…. Seemed that he wasn't feeling too well himself either, his nose being a bit red. As soon as he entered I felt this awkwardness between the two of us again, and not only because of his presence: he bought me cotton candy by means of a gift. ( not the first thing I would think about when visiting a sick person, but hey, Roy is not known for his tact).

**Roy:** I thought, maybe I should bring some amusement park to your room, since you missed half of it yesterday…..

And I was just lost for words, I know he was referring to "the situation" yesterday. I took the gift, hands shaking, and it was almost as if he made SURE are hands touched. I could feel my heart beating furiously, and the illness was not to blame.

**Ed;** thanks…………….( ARRGHHHH! WHY DID MY VOICE HAD TO SOUND SO STRANGE!)

I just wanted to get this over with, I mean, I had so much to figure out about what happened the last week. We didn't have much of a conversation either. But just when I thought Roy was leaving, he put his hand over my forehead, measuring my temperature. I felt the heat inside my body rise even more, and that tingly feeling from yesterday returned as well. I was completely amazed at how strongly my body responded to him…

**Roy**; you know ed, you've gotta be the hottest blonde I've ever met…..

And it wasn't a joke, I saw it, he just put up that lazy smile of his, and I didn't actually dare to think about what kind of "hottest" he meant…

**Roy**: ( _semi-serious)_ although you should get better soon, now I have to do all the files on my own…maybe I should bring them in tomorrow?

And that restored the situation to where I knew how he expected me to react:

I threw a pillow at him

**Ed**: YOU DO IT YOURSELF YOU LAZY BASTARD! DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR SECRETARY OR SOMETHING?

**Roy**: (_laughing, while avoiding being hit by more pillows_) well, you're at least as cute as the last one I had!…

**Ed**: GET OUT YOU PERVERT!

I hit the door with my last pillow, just when mustang left. I blushed furiously……..though it is till wrong for a man to be called cute. Al came in shortly afterwards to collect all the pillows on the floor, but I was pretending to be asleep so I didn't have to explain what exactly happened between Roy and me . I felt him smiling at me when he saw the card attached to the cotton candy:

_Let's go somewhere else next time_

Is he actually asking me out or something?

Sick and Confused alchemist

Literally hottest blonde in the military

_( and in luuuuuuve)_

Edward Elric

Al, im too tired to even argue about that………………

_Note: WHOOHOOO, so you admit that you're head over heels for Roy then?( you should, cuz it's quite obvious_ _you know)…..but still….. ( sobs) I'm so moved nii-san….I'M GONNA TELL WINRY!_

NO DON'T! SHE'LL BE NAGGING ME ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!

_Note: be thankful nii-san, she can learn you a thing or two about flirting…..although Roy and you bickering at each other is your stile of flirting isn't it?_

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!


	7. Some saturday stuff and Sunday the 30th

Dear Oprah…

This is just some random stuff from Saturday and Sunday, cause I was so emotionally confused yesterday that I just didn't feel like writing more. And no, I'm not writing Oprah a letter, I just watched some stupid Talk show that's a lot like hers. Really, these people have more fucked up emotional problems that I do! The one sitting there is in love with his own daughter….ieuw…that's just sick. ( I should warn Gracia about this too, knowing Hughes and all…..i don't even want to think about it.)

The one I just watched now also handles anonymous issues, you know: unsigned letters. There was this women that has an obsession with books and it's destroying her life, she doesn't know what to do. My solution would be something in the lines of a huge fireplace or something.( or "borrowing" one of mustangs gloves if you know what I mean). Besides, if they're not on alchemy, they're useless anyway…

There was also this guy that was, like, TOTALLY envious of the unnatural muscled body of one of his colleagues ( who is always showing it off), asking what he should do to either get a body like that or get over it. I would go out find another job ( or be send to the same surgeon the redhead got send, his nose is completely back to normal….as far as that guy is normal), but some people just don't seem to be able to think straight…..

Like the guy from the last letter: he was head over heels for one of his younger male colleagues ( it sounded more like something on the boarders of obsessions), and in his view there seemed to be some tension and mutual feelings, but as soon as he made a move, the other guy would just shut him out. Don't know what to do, signed with burning passion or something like that. When thinking rationally, you should either get to the point with that guy or get over it and find another job or something. It's as simple as that….or at least, that is what I would have said just a week ago.

I red the pages of my diary I wrote the last week, and I could see it happening……the subtle changes in my writing and my thoughts towards him, me calling him Roy instead of Mustang or Old Geezer more and more…, but why didn't I see it coming before? Why did Al? ( maybe he's been videotaping me as well, I mean, Hughes THINKS I haven't seen him peeking with that stupid camera through the window, but I DID…..i'll make sure that as soon as I get back to HQ I kick his ass with my automail leg….)

But reflecting on my previous writings, Al's stupid comments ( I DON'T CARE WHETHER THEY WERE RIGHT OR NOT, **GET A LIVE**!), the whole incident in the gaming hall and the amusement park, I now see that I can only come to 4 conclusions:

1: I'm definitely not fit to become an author or something

2: I should practice more at videogames

3: I watch happy days way too much

4: anger management class only made me aggressive towards smileys

And yeah, I appear to have a thing for Roy…SO THERE YOU HAVE IT AL! RIGHT HERE, WRITTEN BY ME IN FRONT OF YA! SO COPY IT ALREADY LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!……..

**Ed**: (_sigh_)

I just can't bring myself to just say IT…..you know what I mean. Hell, I can't even behave normally around that guy ( as far as my behavior IS normal, otherwise I wouldn't have ended up with all those weirdo's in anger management class). I want to see him and talk about it, but I don't know where to start. Can you imagine me walking into his office, saying: "_hey Mustang, here is you daily stash of work I already did cuz you're a lazy son-of-a-bitch that only stares out the window all day, I also brought my report on the living conditions of retired state alchemist in whatever-village by means of a mission so you could just get rid of me for some time and oh yeah, I love you. Would that be it?"_

It can't be like that.

But for a week ago I couldn't even imagine me being with another guy, let alone Roy ( I just HATED it when I had to go to work without my hair tie, cuz all the attention that I got wasn't entirely from the women). Then again, I didn't imagine myself with a girl either. WHY do people always think that I had a thing for Winry? (DO YOU REALY THINK I LIKE HAVING ONE OF HER TOOLS TROWED AGAINST MY FOREHEAD EVERY FUCKING DAY?). I'm not a masochist…..Al must believe I am, because he says that I'm only tormenting myself by not telling Roy how I feel. When he mentioned that, I actually felt sick….just from Roy not being here.

I don't want to sound like people from those soaps Al watches, but I can't help it. It's not that I want to profess my ever lasting love when we walk hand in hand towards a sunset and live happily ever after, that is WAY too sappy for me….i just…well, I wouldn't mind taking another roller coaster ride with him, if you know what I mean….

.Just thinking about it and I get all those butterflies back into my stomach ( yeah I learned the right term for that feeling from Winry, after she stopped laughing and nagging me about having a thing for Roy…….. SEE! I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN AL!)

Well, I didn't get much time to figure out how I would approach Roy about the issue ( I had to, because I couldn't possibly go back to work and pretend that I was fine and work with him every day without…well…him being aware of how I feel). Apparently, Roy came down with a fever after all, It just took a bit longer for him to take effect, but the impact was the same as mine. Riza thought that it wouldn't be a good idea for Roy to be alone in his house wile being ill like this, so she arranged with Al that Roy could stay at our place until he recovered.

So in this way, I was kinda forced to deal with it before I went back to HQ. I mean, he was staying in the spare bedroom, but we shared the bathroom, the kitchen and couch of course ( there is NO WAY IN HELL that I miss an episode of "happy days", especially since the hairdo-weirdo became the producer of the show and made it appear 4 times a day on tv.)

I did my best to…well… I just kinda avoided him. When I heard him entering the bathroom, I took the opportunity to run to the kitchen for a drink and sneak back into my room before he got out , and I only watched "happy day's " when I was sure Roy was sleeping and stuff like that.

I'm good at avoiding people if I want to. Makes me think about a party from my Anger management class ( and all the other classes) we once had. You know, all those weirdo's gathered in a small room, bad music and alcohol: not a very good combination. The redhead was happily serving drinks, talking again about his "kaoru-dono"….i saw the hairdo-weirdo talking to him, saying that she would ruin his life, and he would get stuck with a screw and a kid as well….he was just talking about his own situation if you ask me. I also saw the guy the Hairdo-weirdo described as his rival, you know, the food-maniac that was also send to anger management. He had a few too many drinks I believe ( how I knew that: He was dancing on the table with a vase on his head, singing a song about getting run over by a duck or something like that). That pink haired girl was there as well, and she's the one I've been avoiding. She seems determined to hit me on the head with her guitar, don't know why. I was busy the whole time sneaking from table to table, hiding behind the people bigger than me ( I'M NOT SHORT, ALL THOSE PEOPLE ATTENDING THE CLASSES ARE JUST FUCKING TALL!) She didn't caught sight of me, so she ran after the dog-freak instead. Just when she was about to hit him, some strange girl in an ever stranger outfit screamed something at him ( osuwari?), and he just dropped to the ground, the pink haired girl missing him, tripping over his legs and crashing into the fruitcake ( who, unlike the redhead this time, was now facing the problem of having incense sticks stuck in his nose….i believe he was trying to lit them when the pink haired girl hit him). So I survived the night…..

But this is a different situation. I feel so tensed and tingly all the time, knowing that Roy is near and wanting to see him, but on the other hand wanting to avoid him just because I don't know what to do.

I heard Al coming home just when I entered the bathroom. I wanted to take a shower, but heard a suspicious sound in the backyard. Taking a peek outside the window, I saw Hughes sneaking around the house with his camera. When is that guy gonna give up? Is he working for some kind of gossip magazine, or what? So I quickly decided that it was payback time. I grabbed a bucket from the hallway and filled it with cold water. You know what's gonna happen next. I waited at the window until I was sure he was right under it……and then I emptied the entire bucket, giving him a cold shower. He was a bit surprised I guess, being caught and all. So he ran, afraid of another bucket of water .( not such a bad idea if he was still standing there).I yelled after him:

**Ed**: GO ANNOY SOMEONE ELSE YOU WEIRDO!

That wasn't very smart of me I guess. While I was pulling off that joke, I completely forgot to keep an eye on Roy's movements, not hearing that while I was busy making fun of Hughes, he woke and was on his way to the bathroom. I heard the door open behind me and , upon seeing me I guess, I heard him stopping in his tracks…..

There was no avoiding confrontation now…….

Before turning around to face him, I thought of a million excuses to just leave the bathroom as soon as possible, but then it would be like all the situations before: me just running away, without facing up to the fact that I'm attracted to Roy ( to say the least). So I just took a deep breath and turned around, not knowing what to say and at the moment not really caring.

**Ed**: Hey………( yeah, the lump was back again)

**Roy**: _( ruffling his hair a bit)_ you look rather pale…..do you feel as terrible as I look right now? ( _grabs glass to drink some water_)

I wouldn't call it terrible. So yeah, I'm sick but the feelings Roy summons in me are just overpowering the bad ones.

And although he's sick, he still looks good just wearing his boxers….hell, he's gorgeous…

**Ed**: you don't look so bad……..

But as soon as I said that, Roy dropped the glass, and I watched it shattering on the tiles. I wanted to ask what happened, but in the next instant, his knees just gave away and he fell on the ground. Luckily I could catch him by his arm before his head hit the tiles. He just went limp in my arms. Instead of completely panicking ( like I thought I would seeing Roy like this) I picked him up with strength I didn't know I could possess, being sick like this, and I carried him to my room. Yes, MY room, cuz it was nearer to the bathroom and my bed a lot bigger than his. As soon as I laid him down, Al came in to ask how it was……..and unlike me HE completely panicked. He called Riza as soon as his hands stopped shaking enough, and she was here in a heartbeat, accompanied by the doctor ( who was reluctant to come along at first, but as I pointed out before, Riza can be VERY convincing.).

Roy shivered, his body feeling cold but his forehead incredibly hot. The doctor had to give him a strong kind of penicillin to fight back the illness. He also said that he shouldn't be moved the following 2 days. Riza asked what could have caused him to be like this, since he got his illness the same way I did. The doctor, after examining Roy ( and touching him more than I thought was necessary, witch annoyed me) concluded that he had endured way too much stress, at least for a very long period of time. Now with him being sick, it just took it's toll on him. I saw Riza giving me a look like I was to blame ( at least, it looked like it).

Al accompanied the doctor back to wherever Riza kidnapped him from. Just when she was about to leave as well, she turned around to face me, searched for something in her pocket, gave it to me and left without any explanation.

It was a small book, pocketsize, so you could always keep it with you. I had no idea what to think about it, so I opened it and started reading it….

It was some sort of diary………belonging to Roy Mustang.

His handwriting really sucks so I couldn't make out much of what was written, but my name appeared a lot in it. And there was no mistaking the context in witch my name was used: it was almost written like…..like a love poem or something. How did Riza get this? Does she want to tell me that…that Roy is actually attracted…to ME?

It almost sounded too good to believe……

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, hearing Roy mumbling incoherent words in his sleep, at the verge of waking up. I put aside the diary, shaking from head to toe about what I just found out.

But what would happen next? Our feelings appear to be mutual, but when he wakes up, just WHAT am I supposed to say?

When I doubted myself like I did then, Al would always say "you'll find a way", and then I would somehow. So I stood up, imagined Al saying it to me and turned around facing Roy laying in my bed. And before I knew exactly what I was doing, I pulled back the covers and I just crawled in next to him.

Hey It's my bed, isn't it?

Roy woke up from suddenly having company in his bed. But judging from the look on his face, it was not an unpleasant surprise.

**Roy**: you brought me here?……..( he sounded a bit scratchy, but the tenor of his voice still send chills down my spine)

**Ed**: I couldn't have left you on the floor, now could I?

For the next moment, Roy stared at me, trying to see any doubt in my eyes, any fear that I might run away again. But I was determined this time to face the challenge of exposing myself to Roy, to let him see what I was like inside.

I guess that after he was determined that he saw no hesitation or fear in my eyes, he brought his arms around my middle, gently drawing me close against his body. With my head against his chest, I found myself lying in his arms, his hand removing my hair tie gently, unbraiding my hair. I had about a hundred billion butterflies in my stomach, and my face flushed redder than ever before. He gently grabbed my hand, bringing it to his chest….i never felt a heart beat so fast ( except mine)……..One look in his eyes and I saw all the overwhelming feelings I felt reflected back at me…….this was the kind of situation no words could describe the feelings of the heart….

Al came back, after having apologized to the doctor at least a million times. He went up the stairs immediately to see how Roy was doing…..

I don't know what he must have thought when he found us, sound asleep, lying in each others arms like it was the most normal thing in the world. My head on his chest, his arms around my waist, one hand still in my hair….

I don't believe I ever slept that good or that long………..it was at least 10 o'clock in the morning when I woke up. Roy was toying with my hair a bit, nuzzling the strands. I tilted my head from his chest and he loosened his hold on my waist, sensing that I wanted to get up. Still, no words were spoken between the two of us, and I wanted to go to the bathroom. But when I was about to leave, suddenly, Roy grabbed my hand…..

**Roy**: Ed, I know this was an awkward day, but at least let me explain………

I didn't have to wait for a reply, because at that moment, I realized that he had as much trouble voicing his feelings as I had. Mom always said that there are some things you can better say in actions rather than words.

And although I was more nervous than I've ever been before, and although I had no experience or what-so-ever, I leaned down before he could say another word…..and gently pressed my lips up to his……….

Okay, enough about that now, I'm beginning to feel more like the novelist my brother thinks I should be. He has way too much imagination sometimes. There are still a couple of thinks I need to figure out, like, what Hughes is doing spying on me and stuff, what Riza's role is in all of this, and how I ever lived without having kissed Roy……

Genius Alchemist

Joining the "happy day's" fanclub together with Roy who's also a huge fan

_( a the biggest idiot on the planet for making his brother worry so much)_

Edward Elric ( _how does Edward Mustang sound?)_

THAT'S IT AL! I'M GONNA SIGN YOU UP FOR A DATING SERVICE OR SOMETHING! THAN I'll BE THE ONE TO LAUGH!

_Note: ( sobs) I just love happy endings……..( do we have to have a little talk about save sex then? You've always been the oblivious one nii-san)_

WTF! I'M THE OLDER ONE HERE AND YOU'VE NEVER EVEN KISSED A GIRL BEFORE! AND YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT!

_Note: you have a point, I think Roy is experienced enough in that department….(and for the record, YOU haven't kissed a girl as well nii-san….Roy might look good with long hair and he might have a thing for miniskirts, but that would be about it)_

AAARRHHHGG!


	8. Note

Note from easternspirit

Hey people, thanks for the reviews

At the moment, I think I have what they call a "writers block"….i'm just out of ideas for the moment ( well, not on the romantic part but mostly on the funny part).

At this point I'd like to hear some suggestions for the anger management class if anybody has some..just e-mail me and I'll see what I can do.

Beside that, I'm ill myself right now, so after I posted this I'll go back to sleep.

**Ed**: you deserved it, making me ill and all….

**Roy**: making US ill…..

**Ed**_( blush_): whatever……

**Roy**: and I don't think that you mind being ill cuz it's a good excuse for staying in bed with me……

**Ed**: DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GUY THAT NEEDS EXCUSES FO….(_Ro effectively shut him up with a kiss……a very LONG kiss)_

**Roy;** (_petting ed_): now THERE's a good boy…..

**Ed**: ( _annoyed_)……..go back to sleep Mustang.

**Roy**: ( _putting his arms around Ed and snuggling up_)…hmmm…..not yet…

**Ed**: (_to easternspirit_) would you mind leaving us alone now……

**Easternspirit**: ehhm…(_sweatdrop_) weeelll you people hear it when I finished the next part…..


	9. Friday, May the 5th

Friday, may the 5th.

Dear diary……….

Well, after I red Roy's diary, I learned that this is the way you're supposed to start one. Way too go me…..I only needed a week to figure that out….(and more, but that should be obvious right now)

It took me a while to be able to write but let's just say that my illness wasn't the only thing that kept me from writing …... I know were I left of last time, so maybe I should write a little more. ( mostly for Al, cuz else he's gonna listen at the door to find out what happens inside).

I leaned down, and I just wanted to take away that fear in his eyes, that kind of fear I always had for waking up in the middle of a very sweet dream. So…I kissed Roy ( couldn't exactly call it a kiss at first, cuz it's not my field of expertise….but hey, I was kissing an expert so Roy took over control almost immediately). I couldn't believe the look of relieve on Roy's face, as he kissed me back and pulled me on top of him to kisssome more.He must have thought that our snuggling from the night before was just me being delusional because of my illness or something. Nope Mustang, you might be an old, lazy and totally perverted jerk…..but from now on, you're MY jerk…( although if he'll ask me ONE MORE TIME to wear that maid outfit, I swear, I'll shove the entire thing down his throat!)

I should thank my illness though: both Roy and me could take a few days off to recover, and there wasn't a better place to heal than in bed…MY bed to be specific. Now that there was no kind of misunderstanding or uneasiness between us anymore, we were inseparable almost the whole time. Our days were filled with watching a lot of tv ( Roy laying in my arms or vice versa), me rubbing out his shoulders now and then ( the stress the doctor talked about yesterday were his sleepless nights and constant worry about me, so hey, I should feel at least a bit guilty about not telling him before that I was head over heels for him as well), snuggling up beside him in bed ( he always held me very close, as if someone might try to take me away from him…..but that's not something I will complain about), and when I was cooking he would always come up behind me and put his arms around my waist, laying his head on my shoulders, nuzzling my cheek now and then. Mustang really has a thing for hugging me.

And yeah….lots of kissing. I can honestly say that I'm an expert as well now, cuz hey: I had a VERY good teacher. And I'll never be disgusted again when I see kissing couples in the park, cuz I understand now how good it can be ( with the right person of course…….because when I see Major Armstrong and his girlfriend….well let's just say that there is no women in this universe I want to see him kiss with…..)

And there were of course various….OTHER things we did,…..

**Ed**: ( _blush)_

…. and **no** Al, I won't discuss that, not even in this diary. AND DON'T GO GIVE ME THAT " _TELME-TELME-TELME-TELME_" LOOK, YOU SHOULD BE GLAD WE ALWAYS CLEAN UP THE BATHROOM ! That should be enough information for you, you curious bastard! And that endnote from yesterday wasn't necessary cuz as I mentioned before…Roy is an expert….in more than one thing….

I went to anger management class today, since I was feeling a lot better ( although Roy was still sick...It felt a bit strange to just leave him after we've been so much together the last couple of days….). I arrived late, it took me some time to silently sneak out of bed ( and out of Roy's grasp) without waking him. They already sat in a circle for our daily meditation session…and each of us had to talk of course, about what we did last day. I hope that they'll get to the pink haired girl before Its my turn, cuz then we'll hear the rest of the hour everything about all the people she banged on the head with her guitar…..(hey, I'm not good at lying, so what am I supposed to say when It's my turn? "_Oh yeah, I watched some tv, slept a lot, cooked some fancy meal for my new lover whom I did various things with in the bathroom………..")_

Anyway, the fruitcake introduced us to a new student. This guy doesn't necessarily have an anger problem ( at least, not the way we do….WHAT THE HELL? I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, WHY DO I PUT MYSELF ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THOSE GUYS!), but let's just say that he is the CAUSE of A LOT OF PEOPLE'S anger….so they kicked him into our class, so he could see what kind of effect anger can have……

And there I was thinking that Roy was the biggest pervert on the planet. This guy was shamelessly reading, uhm……18+ magazines, to put it mildly……Right in front of everyone.

The pink haired girl should be glad that she's not wearing a skirt, or else…..

He was giving ME strange looks though,….really creapy…

But that wasn't my problem. When it was time for a break, he approached me ( I thought that he was just another psycho trying to kill me or something, sometimes I DO believe that I have sign stuck on my forehead saying something like"KILL THIS CHIBI!"

But nothing could have prepared me for what came next. I must say, I'd rather had the redhead sword maniac or the pink haired girl trying to kill me than what this guy did….…

He asked ….my PHONENUMBER!

**Ed**: _( squeezing his pen while writing, out of pure rage)_

Needless to say that I freaked out….

**Ed**: DO I HAVE A SIGN THAT SAYS "GAY" STUCK ON MY FOREHEAD!

I guess he was kinda shocked that I wasn't a girl. He thought I was because of my hair, so he said. Now THAT is a stupid thought, So I said to him that not all the people with long blond hair are girls……

Then he got this….this…. you-ain't-seen-nothing-yet-and-are-about-to-find-out look

and I really want to forget what he did then ( just thinking about it gives me a nosebleed)….he gave me this HUGE grin and said something with "_sexy_"and "_jutsu_"………

I don't think I've even been so shocked at seeing a guy transform into a blond girl.(well….. not that I've ever seen it before, but still)….BUT THIS ONE WAS NAKED TOO!

He kinda scared the crap out of the guys ( they ALL went to the bathroom to take care of their nosebleeds), the pink haired girl got this strange look and suddenly she yelled that he was an alien and started beating him (or her?..i'm really confused right now…)on the head with her guitar. I was standing there watching it all happen, in utter confusion….

That guy is not only insane, he must be a master alchemist if he's able to do that…( NOT THAT I'M INTERESTED IN LEARNING IT, MIND YOU!….although I can already imagine Roy making me do that….and THEN wear the maid outfit….that fucking pervert…..that fucking HOT pervert.)

Anyway, that pervert ( the one from my class, that totally screwed-up ninja) was beaten to pulp by the pink haired girl who was now standing ready to beat more people, looking around the room for a target, beforesecurity came in to give her a sedative. The fruitcake missed all the action: he came back from his break, and he went on with class like nothing happened ( all the guys were holding pieces of cloth against their noses, giving the pervert death glares….the pink haired girl had the Mustang-patented marihuana look due to the sedative, and I was thinking about what Roy would have said when he saw me in this group of insane people…..would he laugh?…I would have if I wasn't me……okay, that sounded like crap…).

After anger management, I went home as soon as I could. I tried to find Roy but he wasn't in his bed anymore ( nor on the couch watching more happy days). Roy was standing in the bathroom, just wearing his boxers again, finishing shaving. He looked a lot better then a few days ago ( hell, he never stopped looking good in the first place). Although we're now quite familiar with each other, I still get a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach when I see him …

I entered the bathroom ( giving Roy a playful slap to his rear first, with he hates….but than again, tolerates from me), wanting to take a shower ( I broke into a sweat when those guys from security in the anger management class tried to give ME a sedative as well….I WASN'T THE ONE BEATING THE PERVERT TO PULP! Well, I must have looked like it :I held a chair above my head, ready to defend myself, cuz most of the time, the pink haired girl is going after ME)

Roy, however, had other things in mind, and picked me up ( yeah..bride style and all, it was fine with me as long as nobody else would see it), and he carried me to the bedroom, saying that "_you'll have to shower afterwards anyway_"…….and I instantly recognized that look in his eyes….

Needless to say that I was late…VERY late for work that day….

Riza didn't seem to mind though. Whit Roy and me gone, she had time to reorganize the office and the amount of work everyone serving under Roy had to do. Good thing that most of the daily stash that I ( no, not Roy, I love than man but he's still Mr. Lazy-extraordinaire) always had to do was now divided over Havoc, Fury, Farman and Hughes. It was about time that they got something to do, cuz I was THIS close to sticking a note on the door to the office with "_Caution, professionals at work_"……You get my point I hope….

Riza was sitting behind Roy's desk, and all the others were…( **GASP)**...actually working ( maybe Roy should use his gloves as often as Riza uses her gun, it seems to be the only thing to convince they guys to actually earn their monthly paychecks). Everybody looked up when I entered ( my hair, although in a pony tail, must have looked still ruffled due to my ehm…bedroom activities).

Riza only smiled at me ( never seen her doing that before, except when she was about to shoot me, but then it was more of a insane-maniac-smile). She welcomed me back and gave me some reports to work on. The others remained in utter silence, and just when Hughes opened his mouth, about to make one of his famous piss-the-shorty-off-with-stupid-randomness comments, Riza tapped with her finger against her pistol laying on the desk a few times and he backed of rather quickly.

Boy am I glad that she's the one in control right now. I believe that everybody ( at least the guys serving under Roy) know about me and him being together . I also know who's to blame though. Hughes has always been a good friend of Roy and was, beside Riza, the first to find out that Roy was in love with me. So he did what a any good friend would do: HE SECRETLY STALKED ME WITH HIS CAMERA AND MADE ALL THOSE PICTURES AND VIDEOTAPES FROM ME! Really, Roy told me yesterday about all that, and that he was against it at first but as soon as Hughes delivered all those pictures from me, he couldn't help himself but watch it every day when I was on a mission again….it made him feel better about my absence…

But I'll make Hughes understand the meaning of pain as soon as I have the chance none the less…..

All of this was written in Roy's diary as well, but there was more. I always wondered why he sent me on such stupid missions, but Roy gave in his diary examples of missions I would have gotten if he didn't interfere: those missions were A LOT more dangerous and risky, and he tried to help me in this way by giving me the opportunity to search for the philosophers stone while dealing with a fairly easy mission…..

But somehow , I screwed up anyway, so it was a good thing that is wasn't a hard mission, or else the consequences would have been much more severe…

Not only did Roy keep me out of harms way by giving me the easiest missions, he also gave all the army ranks below him the strict order that, wherever Al and I showed up or did something (stupid, I might ad), he would be informed immediately. At first I thought that he did that so he could find out just how much we screwed up and use it to rub it in my face….But when I read the next lines, I realized that Roy did that out of a kind of worry that bordered on frantic. This was also the stress the doctor told us about yesterday: he kept his worries and feelings to himself, never knowing if there would come a day that I wouldn't return…..

And that day, of course, came….

Al came back, but I disappeared, and right after that, Roy gave up his post and became a regular soldier at some borderline in a very cold, snowy place ( he HATES cold, witch makes this action even more extreme for him). This was about the time that Riza saw the connection between my disappearance and Roy's breakdown, or so Roy wrote in his memoirs. The next pages, dating from 3 days after my disappearance till the day I returned, were completely empty…..

Roy is really good in describing his feelings, to the point were I'm jealous about it. He could describe with such accuracy what he felt when I appeared on the scene again, clothes mostly torn, my hair messy…but I was back. I could still remember that day too…..Roy just stood there, while I was being squished to death ( can't call it hugging when Major Armstrong is involved) by several people, Winry cried and Al just couldn't stop smiling…..

But Roy just stood there…..and was unable to say anything…..

Just about then, the others realized that Roy didn't greet me at all. I could SWEAR I saw Riza behind him, pushing him a bit. He finally stepped forwards and stood right in front of me. Just when I thought that he was about to hug me or something….he just extended his hand, welcoming me back like I came back from some kind of vacation….

And that was also the first time for me that I realized that I was….disappointed….that it wasn't more than just….shaking hands…..

Well, I think I'll save the rest for another time, you see: "happy days " is starting within minutes and after that….well let's just say that we'll need some privacy….

I should still plan revenge on Hughes though, make a mental note to remind me of that….

Genius Alchemist

BOXERS RULE THE WORLD!

(_and Mr. Oblivious of the year)_

Edward Elric

Al….WHEN do you EVER grow tired of these stupid endnotes…….

_Note: well Edward, after I read YOUR diary as well, I must say that you gotta be the most oblivious person I ever met. You were in love with me all those years and didn't realize but only a week ago. I know that Hughes ought to be punished, cuz he interpreted "make a photo of him now and then" in his own crazy way, but don't be too hard on him…..Maybe I should give him a bonus for getting us together…._

WTF! MUSTANG! WHERE DIT YOU FIND MY DIARY!

_Note: Al gave it to me, saying that It was only equivalent-trade: you red my diary, and I red yours……..am I really that lazy? I do about 6 cases a day…._

AND I DO ABOUT 34 A DAY, SO YES THAT MAKES YOU A LAZY BASTARD!

_Note: (written with cute tiny hearts) but I'm YOUR bastard, aren't I?_

Yeah…..you are……..


	10. Sunday, May the 7th

Sunday, may the 7th.

Diary

I don't want to use the D word (because it's not dear to me), I wanted to make up something else but couldn't think of anything so….. I just left that space empty….

Roy felt a lot better at Saturday ( how I knew that?…well let's just say that he was pretty energetic in the shower that morning, if you know what I mean….and as soon as he starts complaining that he doesn't want to do all those damn boring cases by himself, you just know that he is thinking about getting back to work ( and me probably doing at least the boringones for him, just to stop his whining).

Anyway, Saturday was still his day off, and he took me out after anger management class. We went to the movies, by means of our first date (but I refused to let him pay for me too, because then I would feel like the woman in our relationship, IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT THEY CALL ME MISS EDWARD AT WORK, SO DON'T RUB IT IN MY FACE YOU JERK! Or so I ranted, ...but it worked, since it convinced him to just let me pay my share and get it over with…..enough people were staring at us already, and Roy's not the one to go flaunting with his perversions OUTSIDE the office ( except when it comes to me, because I KNOW that he STILL has that stupid maid outfit…..I should make him wear it, see if HE likes it……T..T THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!……sheesh, I'm picking up his perverted-thoughts-brainwaves or something,….well that's what you get when being involved with the biggest jerk on the planet……….)

Well, I believe that Envy can strife for that title as well, but then in the cruel sense of "jerk". He got send to the other anger management class, don't know who convinced him to go there, don't really care either. I did hear some rumors from the Pink Haired Girl though, she said that that Gay-palmtree entered the class on his own, witch surprised me. He should see a good psychologist if you ask me (having a father complex and looking like a bishi-palmtree isn't good for your mental and social capability's, but he's proven that more than once in the past time).

It was good for me that he wasn't put in MY class, or else I had 4 maniacs trying to kill me here. ( the dogface, the pink haired girl, the redheaded sword maniac, and that palmtree-head……I should get PAID to attend these classes, damn!) Lucky me for having the hairdo-weirdo as my friend, or else I would be in even more trouble. Oh yeah, I didn't mention the Pervert, cuz he's laying somewhere on Intensive Care right now. No, that's not from the nosebleed-smash-the-pervert incident from last time, but….well….there is a reason why I called him The Pervert right?

Our two anger management classes had a break at the same time, and the Palmtree-weirdo ( I like that name more than envy) tried to find a soda machine ( witch wasn't there because the redhead sliced it in a billion tiny pieces because it refused to give him sake…AGAIN. Somebody should tell him that machines with "Coca Cola" written all over it are not likely to contain sake in the first place). Just when he gave up, the Pervert stood before his nose in an instant, doing the same as he did to me: asking the Palmtree-weirdo his phone number.

I don't know if Hawai-face even has a phone number or not, but I still expected him to at LEAST beat the crap out of that Pervert….

He might be my half brother, but he's sure NOT like me. He actually looked flattered that that Pervert thought that he was a girl (…….does this run in the family? Elrics being looked at as girls?….Roy seems to eagerly participate in that too…Although I thought that after last week I shouldn't have to prove my own virility to him…….)

I think that around this time, the Pervert figured out that he was hitting on a guy again, and so he ran off. Yeah, I know that it's creepy to find out that you're attracted to a guy ( but it's even creepier when that guy run's after you…..i almost felt sympathy for the Pervert….ALMOST). Hawai-face looked pretty pissed, perhaps thinking that the Pervert made a joke….

The pink haired girl raced around in the building on her yellow scooter, trying to find her guitar. I already had a sinking feeling where it would be…..We found the Pervert down the hallway, completely beaten to pulp with the guitar laying next to him. What a surprise… The Pink Haired Girl was impressed at Hawai-face his handy work, asking what about his techniques and if she could learn it too. So he showed her a few good techniques,( he was just swinging that thing around like a golfclub if you ask me).Those two got along pretty well, that is….until that Gay-palmtree spotted ME……

Of course he instantly went after me, do I still need to point that out? And I transmutated my metal arm into a sword, readying myself for an all too familiar battle against that Homonunculus. This time there was no going back, we would settle it once and for all, It would be bloody, it would be fierce, it would be a fight till the end…..

Had the Redheaded sword maniac not interrupted…..

Palmtree-face, while running towards me ready to kill, knocked over the table were the Redhead was burning his precious incense sticks, everything falling to the floor in the process. Palmtree-face didn't seem to mind this, but when I looked past him, I could see the eyes of the Redhead turning as red as his hair, quickly grasping his weapon of choice to go after Hawai-face and make him pay:.

…..an incense stick………

Before Palmtree-face reached me and knew what the hell was going on, the Redhead jumped on his back from behind and shoved the stick up his nose, both of them falling to the ground afterwards. I just stood there and blinked my eyes….The redhead went to take care of the remaining incense sticks, Hawai-face laying on the ground with a very odd eye-spasm and his body twitching slightly…..( I hope Riza doesn't find out that incense sticks can bethat dangerous, or else the guys at HQ are doomed…..and addicted)

The Fruitcake, with a cup of cherry-blossom thea of course, walked in on this scene in the hallway: The Palmtree with incense stuck up his nose now looking more like a dozed-off hippie, the Pervert reduced to pulp by the guitar of the Pink Haired Girl, who was swinging said guitar around in the air, trying to find out exactly WHAT kind of technique the Palmtree-weirdo used on the Pervert, the Redhead guarding the rest of the incense sticks, holding his sword threatening above his head for anyone who would even breath wrong into the direction of the holy incense, and me just standing there with my sword and a look of utter confusion…….

Yep, another normal day at anger management.

I'd like to wake up now……..

Okay, back to the movies. When we walked in I instantly noticed the cold glare the girl who helped us to our tickets gave to Roy. But not only her, A LOT of girls who were standing in line for tickets and some other female employees were giving him cold looks. I looked up at him, silently asking for an explanation. He just shrugged and pretended not to notice my unspoken question….

I was really curious as to what kind of movie he picked, but he refused to tell me, so I just followed him to our seats. There were still 10 minutes to go before the movie would start, to I used the opportunity of being alone with Roy to ask what all those cold stares ment.

He pretended not to notice…..

**Ed**: "what do you mean, " _what stares_?"…..i SAW it, damn….why did they do that, and it HAS to have something to do with you, cuz I don't know any of those girls….

He waited a few moments to reply, as if trying to find the rights words. When I was about to give up and drop the subject, he suddenly came face to face with me, and said:

**Roy:** "those…..well…those were all women I used to date…….."

Okay……………………

This is all right, isn't it?………..

Roy CONCIOUSLY brought me on a date to a place were all his ex-lovers come and work……….

As if trying to show that he really IS the biggest womanizer in Central……..

As if trying to make me see that I'm just another idiot fallen for his handsome face and for hearing the words " I love you" falling from his lips.

I stood up as soon as he said it, I didn't even needed time for the words to sink in. Roy looked paniced at the anger that suddenly appeared on my face. I could already SEE him making up a thousands of excuses behind that arrogant face of his. But I refused to stay and hear them…..

He tried to stop me, grabbing my arm, wanting to "talk"……well I was done talking at that time….

**Ed:** " SO THIS IS WERE YOU BRING ALL YOUR DATES? DID YOU JUST HOOK UP WITH THE FIRST GUY AVAILABLE JUST BECAUSE YOU RAN OUT OF WOMEN!"

I knew that sounded stupid, but I was so….so INCREDIBLY jealous at the time. And I felt stupid. Stupid for not confessing my feelings to Roy before, because then at least half of the women present in the Cinema that day would have no reason to give Roy those cold glares…..than he would have been mine sooner,….not THEIRS……

I just felt so used when I saw the number of (actually pretty) women staring after me when I ran out….. how could I EVER think that Mustang preferred me over them? Any of them?

Roy tried to follow me but one of the employees "accidentally" bumped into him, making him fall to the ground. When he looked up, I was out of his sight, disappeared into the crowds, without stopping to run.

I only stopped as soon as I reached the park, I sank down onto a bench, and I just….started to cry. I couldn't help it. The tears were just streaming down my face without me making a sound. The last time I felt so hurt was when mom died……and now thanks to that bastard, I was reliving that feeling all over again…..

Once, when I was 13, I said to Fury ( after Roy stole his girlfriend…again) that it was inevitable that, one day, Roy would meet someone he really fell in love with, and that that person would be unreachable for him, making him feel the pain that all the men he stole their girls from felt now……if I only knew that those words would only be reflected back to me now…..

Roy….the only person I pictured myself to be with for the rest of my life……a dream I shared with about half the citizens in Central…….

( _tears start to fall down on the pages, soaking the paper at a few spots…..)_

…..

I don't want to go home yet……..it will be the first place for Roy to look for me, but I need to calm down before I confront him……

I really don't know where this is gonna end………

Jealous and Hurt alchemist

Acted impulsive as usual

Edward Elric

What, no side comment? No scolding? No good advice or siding with Roy?

_Note: I'm actually shocked nii-san……for you to react like that. You KNOW about Roy's reputation and you've seen him with dates before. It was not like he picked that place just to show you how many dates he had, personally….i think he did that to show his ex-girlfriends who he REALLY wanted to be with…….._

Yeah Right……..then WHY did he date all those women when he was in love with me all the time?

_Note: are you oblivious or plain stupid! He was just trying to make YOU jealous by dating women! Really, it's childish and a technique mostly used by us girls, but ...this would be MY explanation for it…_

WTF? WINRY? AL, WHY DID YOU GIVE HER MY DIARY!

_Note: she kinda forced me nii-san, I'm sorry…._

_Note: Yeah, and you better talk this out with Roy, OR ELSE!….i have a great new screw you know, 100 procentsteel……_

OKAY, I WOULD TALK TO HIM ANYWAY SO JUST SHUT UP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DIARY!


	11. Monday, May the 21th

**Easternspirit:** AARRGGHH WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK!

**Ed:** oh oh, pick me, pick me!

**Easternspirit**: I wasn't asking YOU!

**Roy**: ( _semi-serious)_ Ed, behave….can't you see she's having a bad day…

**Easternspirit:** I had a very bad week, preparing for my tests and writing 2 papers, I just went back home trough the rain…(_gives roommate angry glare cuz he didn't do the dishes….again_)…KUSO! I'm all soaked and muddy…HOW CAN I POSSIBLY LOOK EVEN WORSE!

**Ed:** by getting undressed, duh!

**Easternspirit:** I DIDN'T PICK YOU!

**Roy**: SOMEONE is not getting any tonight…..

**Ed**: OY! I was only kidding!

**Easternspirit:** ( _to audience_) well, sorry to keep you guys waiting so long, I was kinda out of ideas. For now I decided to end this fic with this chapter, but I was thinking about writing a sequel, so this will not be the last insane drabbles from our very own Chibi-san ( and his fucked-up life)

**Ed**: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT COMPARING HIM TO OTHERS IS LIKE COMPARING A BONSAI TO A SEQUOIA!

**Roy**: why do I have to be in love with a loud teenage brat…..

**Ed:** don't complain to me, SHE started it…..

**Easternspirit**: erhm, I think I'll end my author's note here, these two need to talk things out….

* * *

Dear LAST ENTRY! MUWHAHAHA! 

Yeah I'm in a very good mood, cuz this is my final entry. I can stop the entire diary-project now, since I'll have one of my "supervisors" attending anger management class with me, so there is no more reason to write down what happened right?

I guess I have to explain this ne? So much happened in the past 10 days.

First of all, my argument with Roy. I know by now that Winry is very good at convincing people to do stuff they don't want to, I sometimes believe that she's an apprentice of Hawkeye ( she uses her screw the same way Riza uses her gun….scary dominant blondies)

I went home and upstairs, ignoring the door of my own bedroom standing open and Roy probably waiting in there for me, I walked past the bathroom were Roy probably ran a bath for me again like he usually did…I went straight for the guestroom that I knew would be empty, and I locked the door behind me, not bothering to come out for dinner: hunger was the last thing I felt at that time.

I felt guilty. I knew I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, and after reading Al and Winry's comments from last time ( OKAY YOU PEOPLE WERE RIGHT, BUT GET A LIFE!) it made some more sense to me. I ruined our first date together because I became jealous. But it was more than that: I felt…unworthy.

Why would Roy want to be with me if he has so many people to choose from? He could have someone that is not as impulsive or impatient as me. He could be with someone good looking, someone gentle and reserved, someone…..like Roy himself. There is practically nothing about the Colonel that would make women ( or men) lose interest in him: okay, so at work he's lazy ( nothing Hawkeye can't fix….she already used the dog groomer on Havoc for trying to steal her coffee mug, since I destroyed his…SMILEY'S ARE EVIL!…I swear, they'll take over the world one day), he's good at manipulating people ( especially manipulating me in being "uke" every time…not that I mind in the end though.), he can't cook even if his life depended on it ( well I'm not a chef either, but compared to Roy, I'm Jamie Oliver…or whatever guy Al has that idea for his Indian Chicken from), and Roy's…..looking too damn sexy for his own good….

That alone should be a crime….sometimes.

My point is: what do I have to offer?

That was my conclusion to why I acted the way I acted back in the cinema. I felt unworthy and jealous. I also concluded that I was the one having to apologize, not Roy. He was not to blame for looking so good that half central wanted to date him. Including myself…

Lying on my bed and thinking about how to start apologizing to Roy, I heard a firm knock on the door. It couldn't be Al, he always knocked softer, and Roy would just walk without knocking, so there was only one possibility left…

I took cover just in time, otherwise I would have been hit in the head by a screw…

Winry decided to "lecture" me on my behavior in her own way, armed and dangerous, storming into the room and yelling that I was stupid, a big jerk and insensitive for making Roy sad….

When she said the last part, I stopped in my tracks. Did I made Roy cry?

Winry used the opportunity to hit me with the screw, and I fell forward, face down on the ground in the hallway. Roy emerged almost immediately from my bedroom, taking in the situation with a mixture of amusement and concern. I didn't become upset with Winry, because as soon as I saw Roy's face I felt that I deserved the hated screw…only to me it was obvious that he had been crying like I suspected….Roy can be so sensitive sometimes.

Al came to the rescue and dragged Winry to the living room so I had the chance to talk to Roy. But I just couldn't. Even in this state, I couldn't help but feel so light-headed ( and not only from the screw) and tingly near him…I mean, I love him so much an he's with me now….which was even more than I could ever hope for…. despite the fact that he probably slept with half of Central already…

Did I say that last part out aloud?

"_ I believe that my reputation of dating women have caused some people to have wrong ideas about me, but I never slept with any of my dates…."_

Roy's voice sounded shaky and softer than usual, betraying the turmoil of emotions he was going through, just like me. I slowly got up from the floor, and I dared to meet his gaze, not knowing what to say…

"_jealous….."_

Roy blinked, as if he didn't hear me correctly.

_" I was just….jealous_" 

Utter silence….

My eyes must have looked like those of a puppy at that time….

I could see a familiar look in his eyes returning, his mouth curling into a smile, and before I knew it, he was….. laughing. I mean, REALLY laughing, genuinely laughing at me for being so foolish….or something like that. I forgave him. Hell, I'll always forgive him for the things that would normally infuriate me. I could only stand there, looking at Roy laughing out of pure relief….and without realizing it at first, I had a smile on my face as well…

But before Al would come up suspecting that Roy had lost it, I quickly walked up to him and silenced him with a kiss, to which he eagerly responded, immediately kidnapping my hair tie and unbraiding my hair, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. I responded by nibbling his lower lip when he kind of groped my ass. So we stayed like that for a while, silently rebuilding what was broken….

I…ehm.. WE used the bath ( he ran it for me indeed) after all, and while washing my hair ( somehow he really likes doing things with my hair….that, and other parts of my body) he explained that he mostly dated so much because he felt lonely. He'd been doing that ever since girls became interested in him, his friends did is at well, and they were good company. But he always had an empty feeling he could not explain, a hollow place none of them seemed to fill…, and when he broke up with one of the rare girlfriends he had, he wouldn't feel a thing…

Well, let's just say that **I** felt a thing or two after Roy decided to drop the subject and shut me up in HIS way……….

AND I KNOW YOU WERE LISTENING OUTSIDE THE DOOR YOU DIRTY LITTLE PERVERT! ISN'T READING MY DIARY ENOUGH ANYMORE!

Yeah of course I'm addressing this to Al

I should hook him up with Winry or something…a screw in the head everyday would serve him right..

Okay, so after we had make-up sex ( there you have it Al, HAPPY NOW!) and had a very good night sleep, we felt a lot better. I woke up late, wondering were the Mustangizer went. Said Mustangizer returned around dinnertime, looking as if he had a rough day. I didn't bring up the subject of his absence during dinner, but right after dinner I kidnapped him to our bedroom and asked him what happened. I hoped that he didn't get incence stuck up his nose for being late for work again ( yeah, Hawkeye found out about the incense trick after she was tasked to take care of the palmtree-face and his little accident with the addicted Redheaded Samurai in my class…..poor people in HQ). But Roy wanted to talk about a different issue: my anger management classes. He seemed a little hesitant to start the conversation at first, almost as if he was embarrassed or something. Well I soon found out why…

Oh god, I still get pain in my stomach from laughing when I think about it….

Roy was on his way this morning to the furher to ask if I could get a test or something to prove that I didn't belong in the anger management classes ( anymore…or so he added…DAMN YOU ROY, I DIDN'T BELONG THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!). Just when he passed his own office, he saw his men and Hughes inside, with a stash of photo's and a perverted grin on their faces.

**Havoc**: "whooo I never knew that Ed was that tanned…even THERE."

**Fury**: "take a look at the Colonel…did he actually kept those purple boxes he got from Ed by means of a Christmas present 4 years ago?….he's got it BAD"

**Farman:** ( _nosebleed_): "there's nothing bad about THIS!"

**Havoc:** "whoa, Ed's actually larger than him…who would have thought"

**Fury**: "what shoe-size does he have?"

**Hughes**: "what the hell are you talking about"

**Fury**: "well, you know what they say about guys having big feet and….their size"

**Farman**:" who cares….whoo check this one out,….Oy, Hughes, are those plushy handcuffs not your Christmas present from last year to Roy?

**Hughes**: ( _perverted smirk_) "I KNEW they would come in handy for him…..come to think of it, I think Ed would look good in pink, don't you guys think so?"

To Roy, that was the last straw. He allowed Hughes to take photo's of Ed secretly, but he had obviously been doing a lot more than that. Fury was the first to look up when Roy entered the office, elbowing the other guys to get up, a look of sheer terror on his face. Roy couldn't remember a day when he managed to put on his gloves that fast, let alone burning the photo's and Hughes camera standing on the table next to it within 3 seconds. If I were Roy, I would have burned ALL OF THEIR ASSES as well, make them suffer!

Like they'll get away with this, you guys just wait till I get back! ( although perhaps it's good for them to know that I'M ACUTALLY BIGGER THAN ROY, MWUAHAH!)

Anyway, Roy was so pissed that he set more things on fire than just the pictures and the camera's. It was more like setting half the office on fire, and within seconds, the alarm bell started ringing. Just when Roy was practically choking Hughes ( while aiming with his fire on the other guys, who were running around in the burning office and screaming like a bunch of ladies spotting a mouse), the Furher happened to walk by, taking in the scene with a mixture of anger and amusement…

3 hours later, when the office was save again( and black), Hughes brought to the hospital and Hawkeye and her dog-groomer dealing with the rest of the guys, Roy sat in the office of the Furher…slightly embarrassed to say the least.

I listened to the entire story as Roy's face turned a nice looking shade of red. First I was angry, then beyond pissed, then amused at Roy's way of dealing with the situation….but that was nothing compared to what Roy said next:

HE was now being send to anger management class as well……

I rolled around on the floor laughing, completely hysteric. IT'S PAYBACK TIME! Oohh I can't wait till Roy comes to our class, has to do that stupid meditation, run for his life if the pink haired girl decides that he looks beatable, get a nosebleed when the pervert performs that stupid transformation again, being chased by the redheaded sword maniac for looking wrongly at his incense…..and being with me more than ever, of course…

Well, maybe I'll start a diary again some day, who knows…

BUT I'LL MAKE SURE THAT IT'S ONE WITH AN ANTI-TRANSMUTATION LOCK ON IT!

Genius alchemist

A little bit sore at the moment for various reasons

_( and winner of the how-loud-can-you-get-in the-bedroom-award)_

Edward Elric

DON'T TELL ME YOU SNOOPED AT THE BEDROOM DOOR AS WELL!

_Note: I didn't have to nii-san I sleep next door….at least, I TRIED to sleep…._

AND JUST FOR THE RECORD, THAT WAS ROY, NOT ME!

_Note: that's a bit strange, you've always been the loud one……..maybe I should ask Hughes whether that is true or not, since he seems to know a lot of what is happening in there….._

YOU GO AHEAD AND DO THAT AFTER I'M FINISHED WITH HIM! Oh, he's gonna get it all right….that pervert….

_Note: who's the pervert here, you're the one that likes to be tied up with plushy handcuffs…but on the other sides, Roy's really into kinky outfits, so I don't really know who's the biggest pervert here_

THERE IS NOTHING KINKY ABOUT A STUPID MAID OUTF…wait a second…..DID HE TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!


	12. Wednesdaywith mellons

So….now that about 2 years have gone by since I last posted something here ( in case anyone asks: I was stuck in the bathroom)…..

Worst excuse ever….

Anyway, i'm studying in Japan at the moment and since i just bought an artbook on FMA i suddenly felt like writing another chapter for the poor people that have been waiting. So if I get lots of reviews ( hint) maybe I'll restart this fic.

Oh, to enlighten people:

The Hairdo Weirdo: Vegeta from DBZ

The pink haired girl: Haruko from FURIKURI

The Redhead swordmaniac: Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin

Dog-guy: Inuyasha

The blond pervert: Naruto

Palmtree: Envy

Screws fly in the air, shorty-jokes are made, a lot of ranting, randomness at anger management and so on. Here we go again!

Date: 2343 Sollixir and the root of two mellons….

Dear Diary thingy,

Please don't ask about the date Al ( you're going to read this anyway SINCE YOU SOMEHWERE ALONG THE LINE DECIDED TO ACT LIKE DOCTER PHILL!!!!You watch talkshows way too much! I'm seriously considering ending cable television in our house, especially since the only show I watch ( happy days) is now being broadcasted on about every channel, 24hours a day…..). Ever since Roy started writing down the dates of anger management class on the calender 'so I wouldn't 'accidentally' forget the dates' I decided to test if it was fire proof……which it wasn't . I forgot Riza's birthday in the process, earning me another moment to be thankfull for bullet-proof underwear……..YES, I'LL ADMIT IT,I do have a hard time remembering dates( even a genius can't be good at everything). I asked the pink girl from ANGERMANAGEMNTNTNDD…(.Dooohh I even hate writing it down)…anyway, that is what she came up with…

Maybe it's a national holiday on her planet. Today is worth a celebration none the less since I got out of anger management class today WITHOUT my clothes shredded to pieces, stains from a nosebleed, incense stuck in my ear (don't ask…..I MEAN IT AL! that I'm not even going to write in my diary…..) or a headache from being beaten by a guitar one too many times ( actualy 0 times is enough to me…)…

Why? Well, I'll explain…. SINCE YOU'RE GOING TO ASK ROY ANYWAY IF I DON'T'GIVE YOU MY VERSION FISRST!! Dammit, I thought it was a good idea that he actually joined anger management, but it only made things worst. Plus, If I refuse to write about it in my diary Al ( PAY ATTENTION!) will just ask Roy about it and he'll be EAGER to give his own 'SLIGHTLY ALTERED' version of what really happened. mutter mutter . I read his diary which he hid inside my rainboots. I acidentally found it when I was looking for a place to hide mine ( The last few places – the microwave, winry's underwear drawer, inside the DVD recorder – are checked by Al on a daily basis now, I'm running out of idea's. Although it was funny hearing him being beaten up by winry when being accused of stealing her underwear…perhaps I should try her make-up bag next, she'll get the strangest ideas…oh FCK I forgot the little bastard reads this!). Anyway, Roy described the same scene's as I did from anger management, but then in his own perverted way. Is he hoping Al is going to read his too? Well, he'll have to deal with his sneaky little sidenotes on his own…

So about anger management….

Roy was introduced in the class and at seeing the Weird Hairdo-guy wear a t-shirt with 'death to all that is smiley', the Redhead trying to smoke the incense instead of sticking it up his nose, the pink haired girl trying to untangle the dog-guy from the strings of her guitar and the blond pervert trying to eat ramen with incense sticks since his own chopsticks were 'abducted' by our instructor who said that they were too pointy ( ….dangerous?) to be used in class…….right…….lets'just say that his face became a few shades paler….

I brought my camera….

The fruitcake went to the kitchen to make cherry blossom tea and the usual 'disasters' from anger management class broke out. The Weird Hairdo-guy brought his laptop and asked my opinion on his ideas for 'Happy day's , the musical' ( okay, this is gettin' a little creepy…. ESPECIALLY the idea of persuading ( aka forcing) the cast to wear the same outfit as the blond pervert. I like the Happy Day's fanatic, but ORANGE JUMPSUITS!...jeez, talking about style issues). I guess he ( the pervert that is NOT Roy…..YES YOU ARE STILL A PERVERT, WHO THE FCK BRINGS A MAID OUTFIT TO SOMETHING LIKE ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS!!!) Combine that with the freaking Red thing the dog-guy wears makes this look more like a meeting for people being wanted by the fashion police. THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE ME!! I just REFUSE to wear good cloting to a 'shred-the-shortie-to-pieces' meeting….AND THAT'S THEM CALLING ME SHORT, NOT MYSELF……arhh, I'm not making any sense anymore…

Let's just say that Roy became good friends with the Redhead in an instant. Obviously. The teacher took his matches away saying that they were dangerous to be used when sitting on one of his beloved new silken pillows ( with smiley's EYETWITCH ….when we had a break I bought a black pen and made Jack-Sparrow smiley's out of em…Roy actually helped…as far as Jack Sparrow WEARS A MAID OUTFIT!!)So Roy used his gloves and with a few sparks lightened the incense. By means of a 'Thank you' he ended up being chased by the Redhead who was trying to stick one in his nose…..

Ed: grin

Oh yeah, my camera did a good job that day…..

Anyway, he tripped over the dog-guy who was taking a nap on one of the Jack-Sparrow pillows( the one without the maid-outfit……obviously) and the Redhead ended up on top of him , placing the incense in Roy's ear in the process. ( TOOORRMEEEENNTT…. If anyone knows what I mean ) I laughed so hard that it hurts, and not just my stomach. I was so busy laughing that I didn't realize Roy had sneaked up on me to plant a stick in my ear too….THERE YOU HAVE IT AL!! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!...now I explained in anyway. Thank God for not being able to get addicted to that stuff through your ears…..The Fruitcake said it was an excellent idea to 'get in touch with our inner self' so he ordered everyone to stick a stick in their ear and say our mantra for this week ( which we have to make up ourselves by the way. My first one was 'make-me-get-out-of-here-as-soon-as-posibble', but somehow the fruitcake wasn't content with that….)

So this week's one is: "painting-all-the-desks-of-you-collegeaues-pink-isn't-very-nice "

BUT REVENGE IS SWEET!!!!

Yes, the Guys from HG deserved that!!! Im not just talking about the photo's of me with the handcuffs….WHICH IS A SHOP, HONESTLY!!! mutter mutter…Roy and his obsessions with pink/girly stuff….

Ed sighes

APARANTLY a photo from me in the F(((&(& MAID OUTFIT spread through HQ and has become a HIT ( I'm going to hit someone alright). I suspect Al of making it. He's being way too sneaky lately, besides, when I set him up on a blind date with the pink haired girl and he came home with the same sort of headache I usually come home with after class…..well, let's just say that he looked slightly pissed…He has come to hate guitars more than the average person…

**Roy**_ #rubbes__ his head# I don't blame him….that thing is worse than __Winry's__ screw…_

**Ed:** _# jumps # where the hell did you come from!!( and how did he find that out anyway?) You were send to detention!_

**Roy:** _well, since the classroom '__accidentaly__' burned down I had the rest of the afternoon off…._

Note to self: 'borrow' roy's spare gloves for the next class. eyetwitch …and push him out of bed if he ever tries to make me wear that stupid outfit again in class.

**Roy**:# doing a SCARY good impression of Hughes #_awwwww__ but __you'r__ so CUUUUTTEEE in it!!!_

**Ed**: _THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WHEN A GUY IS CALLED CUTE!!!_

**Roy:** #earnest face _# I couldn't agree more. You see, that's the very reason why you have to wear this outfit, because then you __wont'look__ like a guy anymore and I can call you cute all I like #…_. really….SERIOUSLY thinking this 'theory' through_…# in that case, perhaps I should make you wear something more pink…._

Where would he have gotten that idea? Probably not from me having painted the entire office in a lollipop kind of pink……WITH smiley's . the whole world should know that those things are EVIL!. Together with sandals with pressure points written on them and incence, they're going to take over the world someday….

I made Roy pay. If he so desperately wants to see a guy look girly, he can have his way. Beside the fact that I hung a poster in his office ( near his desk ) of Major Armstrong cosplaying as Jesse from Pokemon, I also changed the chemical substance from his shampoo a bit, resulting in Roy having his hair in a shade of pink that matches the one in the office PERFECTLY….

…the only side-effect was that I wasn't getting any that night..

Oh well, he'll get around soon enough. It's his birthday soon and I ( NO MATTER HOW MUCH I HATE IT, I need to point that out to Al before he's starting to thing that I like crossdressing….) promised to……wear a miniskirt. ONLY THAT NIGHT WITH THE TWO OF US!!! Why the hell did I promise something like that anyway??? Arhg, I guess loves makes you do strange things…..BESIDE trying to hide your diary in Roy's bright purple boxers he got from me by means of a Christmas-gift a few years ago…..Fury was right about that, he got it bad…

Well, that will be enough for now. Al, if you read this:

I'M GONNA SIGN YOU UP FOR THE MILITARY SINCE YOU HAVE TOO MUCH SPARE TIME ON YOUR HANDS!!!

Anti- transmutation locks don't even keep him out of my diary anymore, I never knew he was so good at lock-picking….

Genius Alchemist

Doesn't have a clue as to HOW woman can walk on high-heels without tripping every step…

Edward ELRIC!! ( NOT MUSTANG!! Dammit Al, that makes it lookes like I;m his wife!!)

….and the first one to write stupid side comments in my book will be VOODOO-CURSED!!!

_Note: How are you going to do that __nii__-san? I mean, with your __phobea__ for pointy objects and stuff. The last time I stitched your coat you screamed like a girl…_

THAT WAS BECAUSE I WAS STILL WEARING THE DAMN THING!!!

_Note: There is little difference whet__h__er you're in it or not…oh, did I just use the word 'little'?_

THAT'S IT MUSTANG! NOW **YOU'RE** NOT GETTING ANY TONIGHT! Now where is that voodoo doll…

_Note: __ Edward, I was the second__ to write here, not the first. But P__erhaps Al should take a __headstart__ and run…_.

YOU KEEP THIS UP AND THOSE NEEDLES WILL END UP SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!


End file.
